Cast
away opinion: you are saved.
Who
then hinders you from casting it away?
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 12.25 (tr
Long)
We’ve
all heard the conversation, and we may well have been on the receiving end of the
challenge.
“I
desperately wish I could be happy!”
“What’s
stopping you?”
Now I
may assume that the person telling me to take control is only being dismissive
and rude. Perhaps he is, or perhaps he is actually trying to be helpful. In
either case, what he says is completely true. I am the only obstacle to my own happiness.
Am I
frustrated, discouraged, despondent, angry, offended, or jealous? There is
someone or something I am concerned about, but the concern rests within me. The
situation will be as it is, but I will decide what I will make of the
situation.
If I can
change it, I have no reason to be worried. If I can’t change it, the worry
won’t do me any good either. My judgment will make all the difference.
If it is
my thinking that gets in the way of being at peace, then let me alter my
thinking. If an opinion about this or that is dragging me down, then let me rid
myself of that opinion.
It may
not be easy to change my mental habits, and it may not happen overnight, but at
least I know where the work needs to be done. No one stands in my way but
myself.
Bad
thoughts lead to bad actions, and bad actions lead to bad character. I have
just made myself a miserable man, because I have made myself a morally empty
man. Solve the problem at the root, I remind myself, and dispose of those bad
thoughts. I do not need them, and so I will throw them away. I can now be free
of all sorts of burdens.
I was
always an odd and eccentric fellow, but as the years have passed I find that I
simply do not see the world as most people around me do. I have felt lonely, I
have assumed that I don’t belong, and I have been tempted to surrender.
Yet if I
am certain, being as sincere and humble as I can be, that this is the right way
for me to live, then this is how I should live. My doubt comes only from my confused
opinions, opinions that are still rooted in a thinking of conformity and appearance.
Cast away those opinions, which are entirely of my own making, and I have saved
myself from myself.
Written in 9/2009
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