Hasten to find me, but hasten to find yourself first. Make progress, and, before all else, endeavor to be consistent with yourself.
And when you would find out whether you have accomplished anything, consider whether you desire the same things today that you desired yesterday.
A shifting of the will indicates that the mind is at sea, heading in various directions, according to the course of the wind.
But that which is settled and solid does not wander from its place. This is the blessed lot of the completely wise man, and also, to a certain extent, of him who is progressing and has made some headway.
Now what is the difference between these two classes of men? The one is in motion, to be sure, but does not change its position; it merely tosses up and down where it is; the other is not in motion at all. Farewell.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 35
When I am obsessed with winning over other people, the tragic result is that I forget about mastering myself. I may envy a man for having so many admirers, and then I fail to examine him on his own merits. With all the attention on the outer appearances, the inner man becomes an afterthought.
Man is most certainly a social animal, but as a consequence of being a rational animal, and if he can’t get his own judgments in order, all his relationships will be as disjointed as his thinking. We say we know the rule about building on a firm foundation, and yet we expect to gain friends by laying out the doormat before we’ve even poured the concrete.
All the willpower in the world won’t do me a lick of good without the guidance of a moral compass. They tell me to be confident and assertive, yet I am met with silence when I ask about the values worth asserting. Beyond my own insistence, why is it good? Where is the truth in it? It is only an informed conscience that can give me direction and purpose, moving beyond the inclinations of the moment to a lasting commitment.
We do praise the virtue of bravery, while overlooking one of its critical aspects, the quality of constancy. If it is worth doing, it is worth taking the time to do it right, and the greatest efforts will be wasted if I am always jumping about from one fleeting interest to another. The real work of courage is in the everyday renewal of steadfastness and integrity, not in any brief moments of glory.
Indeed, an unwillingness to persevere is a sign of weakness, just as dependability is a sign of character. My own path must be guided by a depth of awareness and a purity of intentions, where any action I take extends from an immovable base. The ideal would be to become the sage, where motion itself is left behind, but let me take one step at a time.
I can only be a friend to others if I can love myself, and I can only love myself when I truly know who I am and why I am here. Stay the course.
—Reflection written in 12/2012
IMAGE: Mikalojus Konstantinas Ciurlionis, Friendship (1906)
