Jottings on Marcus 8

Through not observing what is in the mind of another a man has seldom been seen to be unhappy; but those who do not observe the movements of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy. 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.8 

For so many years, I couldn't get any sleep, because I was always worried about what she might be thinking. 

It only began to get better when I attended to the quality of my own judgments, and I learned a bit about how to discern between the good and the evil within myself. 

The ugly impressions will still present themselves, but now I firmly remind them why they belong to me, and not to her. 

This works far better than drinking whiskey or counting sheep. 

IMAGE: Edvard Munch, Sleepless Night: Self-portrait in Inner Turmoil (1920) 

Jottings on Marcus 7

Do the things external which fall upon you distract you? Give yourself time to learn something new and good, and cease to be whirled around. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.7 

People are in a frenzy. If their pursuit of money, fame, and gratification makes them so happy, why are they still so anxious? 

The diversions do not offer peace. A soul charged with integrity offers peace. 

Through all of the turmoil on the outside, there can be always be constancy on the inside. 

Jottings on Marcus 6

Do wrong to yourself, do wrong to yourself, my soul; but you will no longer have the opportunity of honoring yourself.

 Every man's life is sufficient.

But yours is nearly finished, though your soul reverences not itself but places your felicity in the souls of others. 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.6 

I am slowly learning how a profound truth can be inspirational in theory, even as it may then become terrifying in practice. It really hits home once it starts to hurt. 

If you tell me how a man might waste his whole life on trivialities, I will nod my head knowingly. But when I finally confront my own indecision, I am filled with a sense of urgency. 

That panic will pass as soon as I commit to Nature over Fortune. Now. Not tomorrow. 

IMAGE: Anthony van Dyck, The Head of an Old Man (c. 1620) 

Jottings on Marcus 5

Every moment think steadily, as a Roman and a man, to do what you have in hand with perfect and simple dignity, and feeling of affection, and freedom, and justice, and to give yourself relief from all other thoughts. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.5 

How odd that I fret over the things I can't control, while I neglect the things I can control. My worth is not in the arrangement of  the circumstances, but from the content of my character. 

I need only examine my own constitution to grasp this. No rocket science is required. 

Let the rest be as it must be. Whatever the conditions, can I say that I have acted with a purity of understanding and love? 

There is the excellence within my power. There is my happiness. The rest is just window dressing. 

Jottings on Marcus 4

Remember how long you have been putting off these things, and how often you have received an opportunity from the gods, and yet you do not use it. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.4 

The fashionable pundits, the gurus of success, are right to tell me how the Universe will always give me exactly what I need, though they are sadly mistaken about what is necessary to my nature. 

I complain when I don't get the job, or I fail to win back her affections, or I receive derision instead of praise. But those things were never needed. 

In each case, I had the chance to practice humility, or to offer love without condition, or to be constant in my convictions. Those things were always needed. 

Be less like Oprah. Be more like Marcus. 

IMAGE: Gerbrand van den Eeckhout, A Hermit Praying (1663) 

Jottings on Marcus 3

All that is from the gods is full of Providence. 

That which is from fortune is not separated from Nature, or without an interweaving and involution with the things which are ordered by Providence. 

From thence all things flow; and there is besides necessity, and that which is for the advantage of the whole Universe, of which you are a part. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.3 

I remain under the illusion that there must be order, purpose, and design in the big things, while completely neglecting the order, purpose, and design in the little things. 

Even the smallest part is significant to the whole, and it is never overlooked. What I still call good or back luck really has nothing to do with luck at all. 

Stop expecting it to be impressive for it to be significant. The true, the good, and the beautiful are present at every scale. God is not too busy, I am too lazy. 

IMAGE: Giovanni Lanfranco, Providence (c. 1625) 

Jottings on Marcus 2

Whatever this is that I am, it is a little flesh, and breath, and the ruling part. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.2 

I am told to care for myself, to improve myself, to make something of myself, and yet all the while they are pointing at everything that isn't myself. 

This body is just like any other, and this life that animates it is just like any other. The one will return to the earth once the other is snuffed out. 

In the meantime, there is the mind that keeps watch, that governs over the rest. For the moment, that is mine, and so it is unlike any other. 

IMAGE: Evelyn De Morgan, The Passing of the Soul at Death (1919) 

Jottings on Marcus 1

In addition to the informal reflections, my notebooks were also full of what I called blurbs or jottings, brief reactions to small sections of text. 

While the former involved sitting down at a desk in peace and quiet for a time, the latter were hurried observations, often scribbled down at the most inconvenient moments, out of a fear that I might lose an insight before I got home. 

I do not know if any of them are worthwhile, or if it is still possible to squeeze some meaning out of them. Indeed, many of these notes now seem cryptic to me, since I have long forgotten the peculiar circumstances that inspired them. 

In any case, they are now sorted with a semblance of order, and perhaps they will eventually inspire someone to scratch his head. 

—5/2017 

• • • • • 

Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. 

All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.1 

Perhaps Bias of Priene was right to say that "most people are bad." 

But why might that be? And how will I then choose to react? 

If only they knew, they would surely do better. So let me begin by working on my own awareness for this day. 

Only understanding can defeat ignorance. And only understanding makes forgiveness possible.