"Success comes to the common man, and even to commonplace ability; but to triumph over the calamities and terrors of mortal life is the part of a great man only.
"Truly, to be always happy and to pass through life without a mental pang is to be ignorant of one half of nature. You are a great man; but how do I know it if Fortune gives you no opportunity of showing your worth? You have entered as a contestant at the Olympic games, but none other besides you; you gain the crown, the victory you do not gain. You have my congratulations--not as a brave man, but as if you had obtained the consulship or praetorship; you have enhanced your prestige.
"In like manner, also, I may say to a good man, if no harder circumstance has given him the opportunity whereby alone he might show the strength of his mind, 'I judge you unfortunate because you have never been unfortunate; you have passed through life without an antagonist; no one will know what you can do--not even yourself.'
"For if a man is to know himself, he must be tested; no one finds out what be can do except by effort. And so some men have presented themselves voluntarily to laggard misfortune, and have sought an opportunity to blazon forth their worth when it was but to pass into obscurity. Great men, I say, rejoice oft-times in adversity, as do brave soldiers in warfare."
--Seneca the Younger, On Providence 3 (tr Basore)
As with all young people of the "ME Generation", I was told by most of my teachers that my life would be measured by my worldly position.
My family still insisted that I would be measured by the content of my character.
It was, and still is, a dichotomy. I can choose to determine the value of my life by what is done to me, or by what I do.
So if I did well on a standardized test, I was told I was a success. If I got into a good college, I was told I was a success. Good jobs would come my way when I did what I was told to do, and all the pleasures of life, of the upper middle class, perhaps even of the upper class if I played it right, would follow.
There is the lie. All of that depends upon dependence. All these things are external trappings, and come from others, not from me. Once I begin to care about things beyond my power, I succumb. To be given something simply because I have the aptitude and training, the cleverness, the means and the money, the entitlement that comes from wealth and power, isn't what gives me merit as a human being.
I went to a college full of wealthy kids, a few very bright, many not so much, but what most shared in common was that they were entitled. Everything was given to them. Getting into a University, for example, is easy if your father donates many thousands to the college, makes the right connections, sends you to the best prep school, pays your tuition, and buys you a car and a condominium. Most of those young people became quite successful in the world.
We think this is a good life. No. It is success, but not a triumph. Triumph makes good out of adversity, sees misfortune as the opportunity to do good, and that breeds character.
You might think your life is better because it is easy. No, your life is worse because it is easy. It would be better if it your life was hard. Struggle improves us, not in success, but in triumph. This is not a triumph of boasting and beating one's chest, as that is itself a symptom of the love of success. Triumph is virtue and nothing more. It isn't measured by the trappings of awards or honors, but simply by the fulfillment and joy of having acted for the good when confronted with evil.
My life is not defined by what I am given, in any way, be it wealth, power, or title. My life is defined by what I do.
'Easy Street' isn't all that easy. My family was quite right.
Written on 3/02/2000
Image: Greek runners at the Panathenaic Games, c. 530 BC
