Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 43

After seeing a stupid wrestler practicing as a doctor, Diogenes inquired of him, "What does this mean? Is it that you may now have your revenge on the rivals who formerly beat you?" 

Seeing the child of a courtesan throw stones at a crowd, he cried out, "Take care you don't hit your father." 

A boy having shown him a dagger that he had received from an admirer, Diogenes remarked, "A pretty blade with an ugly handle." 

When some people commended a person who had given him a gratuity, he broke in with "You have no praise for me who was worthy to receive it." 

When someone asked that he might have back his cloak, "If it was a gift," replied Diogenes, "I possess it; while, if it was a loan, I am using it." 

A supposititious son having told him that he had gold in the pocket of his dress, "True," said he, "and therefore you sleep with it under your pillow." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.62 

IMAGE: Bernard Picart, Diogenes (1724) 

Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 42

Diogenes was gathering figs, and was told by the keeper that not long before a man had hanged himself on that very fig tree. 

"Then," said he, "I will now purge it." 

Seeing an Olympian victor casting repeated glances at a courtesan, "See," he said, "yonder ram frenzied for battle, how he is held fast by the neck fascinated by a common minx." 

Handsome courtesans he would compare to a deadly honeyed potion. 

He was breakfasting in the marketplace, and the bystanders gathered round him with cries of "dog!"

"It is you who are dogs," cried he, "when you stand round and watch me at my breakfast." 

When two cowards hid away from him, he called out, "Don't be afraid, a hound is not fond of beetroot." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.61 

IMAGE: John Charles Dollman, Table d'Hote at a Dogs' Home (1879) 

Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 41

Diogenes was returning from Olympia, and when somebody inquired whether there was a great crowd, "Yes," he said, "a great crowd, but few who could be called men." 

Libertines he compared to fig trees growing upon a cliff: whose fruit is not enjoyed by any man, but is eaten by ravens and vultures. 

When Phryne set up a golden statue of Aphrodite in Delphi, Diogenes is said to have written upon it: "From the licentiousness of Greece." 

Alexander once came and stood opposite him and said, "I am Alexander the Great King." 

"And I," said he, "am Diogenes the Hound." 

Being asked what he had done to be called a hound, he said, "I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.60 

IMAGE: Gustave Doré, Diogenes (c. 1860) 

Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 40

When someone expressed astonishment at the votive offerings in Samothrace, Diogenes' comment was, "There would have been far more, if those who were not saved had set up offerings." 

But others attribute this remark to Diagoras of Melos. 

To a handsome youth, who was going out to dinner, he said, "You will come back a worse man." 

When he came back and said next day, "I went and am none the worse for it," Diogenes said, "Not Worse-man (Chiron), but Lax-man (Eurytion)." 

Diogenes was asking alms of a bad-tempered man, who said, "Yes, if you can persuade me." 

"If I could have persuaded you," said Diogenes, "I would have persuaded you to hang yourself." 

He was returning from Lacedaemon to Athens; and on someone asking, "Whither and whence?" he replied, "From the men's apartments to the women's." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.59 

Dio Chrysostom, On Servants 4

"But how about you? Have you no fear, lest, when the god says one thing, you may understand another? 

"As, for instance, the story of the famous Laïus,⁠ the man who became the lover of Chrysippus;⁠ when he had gone to Delphi, he asked the god how he might have issue. The god bade him 'not to beget, or, having begotten, to expose.' And Laïus was so foolish as to misunderstand both commands of the god,⁠ for he begot a son and did not rear him. 

"Afterwards both he and all his house were destroyed, all because he had undertaken to 'make use of' Apollo when he lacked the ability. For if he had not received that oracle, he would not have exposed Oedipus, and the latter, having been reared at home, would not have slain Laïus, for he would have known that he was his son. 

"Then you have heard the story about Croesus,⁠ the Lydian, who, imagining that he was most faithfully carrying out the behests of the god, crossed the river Halys,⁠ lost his empire, was bound in chains himself, and barely escaped being burned alive. 

"Or do you, pray, think that you are wiser than Croesus, a man of such wealth, who ruled over so many people and had met Solon and a great many other wise men? 

"As for Orestes,⁠ I presume you see him also in tragic performances inveighing against the god in his fits of madness, and accusing him as though he had counseled him to slay his mother. But do not imagine that Apollo ever ordered those that consult him to commit any dreadful or disgraceful act. 

"It is as I said: although men are incapable of 'using' the god, they go ahead, try, and then blame him and not themselves. 

"You, then, if you follow my advice, will take heed and aim first to know yourself; afterwards, having found wisdom, you will then, if it be your pleasure, consult the Oracle.  For I am persuaded that you will have no need of consulting oracles if you have intelligence. 

"Why just consider! If the god bids you to read and write correctly when you have no knowledge of letters, you will not be able to do so; but if you know your letters, you will read and write well enough, even without any command from the god. 

"In the same way, if he advises you to do anything else when you do not know how, you will not be in a condition to obey. You will not be able to live properly, either, if you do not know how, even though you importune Apollo day after day and he gives you all his time. But if possessed of intelligence, you will know of yourself what you ought to do and how to go about it.

"There is one thing, however, that I forgot to say about Oedipus: he did not go to Delphi to consult the Oracle, but fell in with Teiresias⁠ and suffered great calamities from that seer's divination on account of his own ignorance. 

"For he knew that he had consorted with his own mother and that he had children by her; and subsequently, when perhaps he should have concealed this or made it legal in Thebes, in the first place he let everybody know the fact and then became greatly wrought up, lifted up his voice and complained that he was father and brother at once of the same children, and husband and son of the same woman. 

"But domestic fowls do not object to such relation­ships, nor dogs, nor any ass, nor do the Persians, although they pass for the aristocracy of Asia. And in addition to all this, Oedipus blinded himself and then wandered about blind, as though he could not wander while still keeping his sight."

The other on hearing this replied, "You, Diogenes, make Oedipus out to be the greatest dullard in the world; but the Greeks believe that, though he was not a fortunate man, he was the most sagacious of all men. At any rate they say that he alone solved the Sphinx's⁠ riddle." 

At this Diogenes broke into a laugh and said, "He solve the Sphinx's riddle! Have you not heard that the Sphinx prompted him to give the answer 'man'? As to the meaning of 'man,' however, he neither expressed himself nor knew, but when he said the word 'man' he thought he was answering the question. 

"It was just as if one were asked, 'What is Socrates?' and should give no other answer than the word 'Socrates.' 

"I have heard someone say that the Sphinx stands for stupidity; that this, accordingly, proved the ruin of the Boeotians in the past just as it does now,⁠ their stupidity preventing their knowing anything, such utter dullards they are; and that while the others had an inkling of their ignorance, Oedipus, who thought that he was very wise and had escaped the Sphinx, and who had made the other Thebans believe all this, perished most miserably. 

"For any man who in spite of his ignorance deludes himself with the belief that he is wise is in a much sorrier plight than anyone else. And such is the tribe of sophists." 

Dio Chrysostom, On Servants 3

"Enough of that! But why do you object to my making use of the god?" 

"What! I object to your making use of the god if you can! That is not what I was saying, but that it is difficult, nay rather impossible, to make use of god or man or one's own self if one does not know how. To make the attempt without knowing how is an extremely harmful thing. Or do you think that the man who is untrained in the use of horses could make use of them?" 

"I do not." 

"And that, if, on the other hand, he should use force, he would get some harm from it rather than good?" 

"True." 

"Now then, will the man ignorant of the use of dogs be able to use them? Or does not the using of anything imply deriving benefit from it?" 

"I think so." 

"No one, therefore, of those injured by a thing really uses the thing by which he is injured, does he?" 

"Certainly not." 

"If, therefore, a man attempts to use dogs without knowing how, will he not receive damage from them?" 

"Very likely." 

"He, therefore, will not be using them either, since use does not properly exist where damage results. And this is true not only in the case of dogs and horses but of oxen and mules also, and — what might surprise you more — not even the using of an ass or a sheep is a matter for inexperienced persons. Or do you not know that from the keeping of sheep and the driving of asses some derive benefit and others injury?" 

"I do." 

"Is it not simply because the inexperienced necessarily receive damage and those who know benefit, whether it be a question of asses or swine or geese or any other creature?" 

"It appears so." 

"Furthermore, can it be that, as regards the use of things, the same reasoning does not hold good, but that one who has no knowledge of music could use a lyre, or would he not be ridiculous for trying, not to speak of his accomplishing nothing and ruining the lyre and breaking the strings? 

"Then again, if one who is not a flautist should wish to use the flute and appear in the theaters and play upon it, would he not be pelted as a punishment and be likely to smash his flute into the bargain? 

"And if a man undertakes to handle a rudder without knowing how to steer, will he not assuredly capsize the boat in short order and cause the death of both himself and his fellow passengers? 

"Still further, does the use of spear or shield do any good when wielded by timid and inexperienced persons, or rather, would they not by such an attempt at use lose not only their weapons but their own lives as well?"

"I grant it, Diogenes," he replied; "but you are letting the sun down with your interminable questions." 

"And is it not better," said he, "to let the sun go down if one is listening to useful words than to go on an idle journey? 

"And likewise in almost all cases where practical experience in 'using' is lacking, it is difficult to be zealous, and the damage is likely to be greater where the things concerned are greater. Do you, then, think that the 'use' of an ass is like the 'use' of a horse?" 

"Of course not." 

"Well, then, is the 'use' of a man like the 'use' of a god?" 

"But that question does not deserve an answer, Diogenes," said he. "Is there anyone, then, who can make use of himself who does not know himself?" 

"How could he?" replied the other. 

"Because the one who does not understand man is unable to 'use' man?" 

"Yes, because he cannot." 

"So he who does not understand himself would not be able to make use of himself, would he?" 

"I believe not." 

"Have you ever heard of the inscription at Delphi: 'Know thyself'?"⁠ 

"I have." 

"Is it not plain that the god gives this command to all, in the belief that they do not know themselves?' 

"It would seem so." 

"You, therefore, would be included in the 'all'?" 

"Certainly." 

"So then you also do not know yourself?" 

"I believe not." 

"And not knowing yourself, you do not know man; and not knowing man, you are unable to 'use' man; and yet, although you are unable to 'use' a man, you are attempting to 'use' a god, an attempt which we agree is altogether the greater and more difficult of the two. 

"Tell me, do you think Apollo speaks Attic or Doric? Or that men and gods have the same language? Yet the difference is so great that the Scamander river in Troy is called Xanthus⁠ by the gods, and that the bird kymindis is called chalkis,⁠ and that a certain spot outside the city which the Trojans called Batieia was called the Sema Myrines⁠ by the gods. 

"From this it naturally follows that the oracles are obscure and have already deceived many men. Now for Homer perhaps it was safe to go to Apollo at Delphi, as being bilingual and understanding the dialects—if he really did understand them all and not just a few things, like persons who know two or three Persian, Median, or Assyrian words and thus fool the ignorant." 

Dio Chrysostom, On Servants 2

"You now provide food for one person," Diogenes continued, "but then it was for two; and now, if any illness attacks you, you will have only yourself to treat, but then you had to take care of him, too, when he was ill. 

"Now, when you are in the house all by yourself, you do not worry for fear that you may steal something yourself, nor, when you retire, lest your slave be awake and doing some mischief. 

"All these things you should surely think about. And further, if you have a wife, she would then not have considered it her duty to look after you when she saw a domestic kept in the family, and she would have been likely to annoy you, sometimes by quarreling with him, at other times by being hard to suit herself; but now she will be less discontented herself and will take better care of you. 

"Then too, wherever there is a servant, the children as they come on are at once spoiled and become lazier and more overbearing as long as there is someone to dance attendance upon them, and as they have somebody whom they look down upon. On the other hand, wherever the children are by themselves, they are much more manly and vigorous and learn to care for their parents from the very start." 

"But, Diogenes, I am a poor man, and if it should not be to my advantage to keep the servant, I shall dispose of him." 

"In that case," Dioegenes rejoined, "are you not ashamed, in the first place, to deceive the purchaser by selling him a bad slave? For either you will conceal the truth or be unable to sell him. 

"Further, if a man sells a cloak or a utensil that is not what it purports to be, or an animal that is diseased and useless, he must take it back; so, by selling you will be none the better off. And even if you shall be able to deceive somebody and he shall not be aware of the slave's depravity, are you not afraid of the money? 

"For perhaps you will buy another still worse slave if you chance upon a seller who is too shrewd for you. Or perhaps you will use the money received for something that will harm you. For by no means in every case does money help those who have gotten it; but men have suffered many more injuries and many more evils from money than from poverty, particularly when they lacked sense. 

"Are you going to try to secure first, not that other thing, which will enable you to derive profit from everything and to order all your affairs well, but in preference to wisdom are you going to seek riches or lands or teams of horses or ships or houses? 

"You will become their slave and will suffer through them and perform a great deal of useless labor, and will spend all your life worrying over them without getting any benefit whatsoever from them. 

"Consider the beasts yonder and the birds, how much freer from trouble they live than men, and how much more happily also, how much healthier and stronger they are, and how each of them lives the longest life possible, although they have neither hands nor human intelligence. 

"And yet, to counter-balance these and their other limitations, they have one very great blessing—they own no property." 

"Well, Diogenes, I believe I shall let my servant go, that is, unless he happens to come my way." 

"Well, I declare," exclaimed Diogenes, "that would  be like your saying that you would not look for a horse that bites or kicks, but that if you came across him, you would go up to him for the fun of being bitten or kicked!" 

Dio Chrysostom, On Servants 1

Once when Diogenes was leaving Corinth for Athens, he met an acquaintance on the road and asked whither he was going; not, however, as most persons ask such questions and thereby make a show of interest in their friends' affairs, yet have no sooner heard than off they go; no, but just as physicians ask the sick what they are planning to do, with the idea of giving them counsel and recommending what they should do and what they should avoid, so for the same purpose Diogenes asked the man what he was doing. 

And the latter replied, "I am on my way to Delphi, Diogenes, to make use of⁠ the Oracle, but when I was about to pass through Boeotia, my slave, who was with me, ran away, and so I am now bound for Corinth, for perhaps I may find the boy there." 

At this Diogenes replied with that characteristic earnestness of his, "And so, you ridiculous fellow, are you attempting to make use of the god when you are incapable of using a slave? Or does not the latter strike you as less difficult and dangerous than the former for those who are incapable of using things⁠ properly? Besides, what is your object in hunting for the boy? Was he not a bad slave?" 

"Yes, he certainly was," replied the latter, "for although I had done him no wrong and, what is more, had made him my body-servant, he ran away." 

"Perhaps he thought you were a bad master, for if he had thought you were a good one, he would never have left you." 

"Perhaps, Diogenes, it was because he was bad himself." 

"And so," continued Diogenes, "because he thought you were bad, he ran off to avoid injury by you, while you are searching for him although you say he is bad, evidently with the desire to be injured by him! 

"Is it not true that bad men are injurious to those who own them or to those who use them, whether they be Phrygians or Athenians, bond or free? And yet no one hunts for a runaway dog that he thinks is no good; nay, some even kick such a dog if he comes back; but when people are rid of a bad man they are not satisfied, but go to a lot of trouble by sending word to their friends, making trips themselves, and spending money to get the fellow back again. 

"Now do you believe that more have been hurt by bad dogs than by bad men? To be sure we hear that one man, Actaeon, was slain by worthless dogs, and mad ones at that; but it is not even possible to say how many private individuals, kings, and whole cities have been destroyed by bad men, some by servants, some by soldiers and bodyguards, others by so‑called friends, and yet others by sons and brothers and wives. 

"Is it not, therefore, a great gain when one happens to be rid of a bad man? p423 Should one hunt and chase after him? That would be like hunting after a disease one had got rid of and trying to get it back into one's system again."

The man replied, "What you say is right enough, Diogenes, but it is hard for a man who has been wronged not to seek redress. That renegade suffered no wrong at my hands, as you see, and yet he dared to desert me. At my house he did none of the work that slaves perform, but was kept inside in idleness with nothing else to do but to accompany me." 

"Then were you doing him no wrong," Diogenes answered, "by keeping him in idleness and ignorance and making him as bad as could be? For idleness and lack of occupation are the best things in the world to ruin the foolish. 

"Therefore he was right in deciding that you were his undoing, and he was justified in running off, evidently so as to get work and not become worse and worse all the time by loafing, sleeping, and eating. But you, perhaps, think that it is a trifling wrong when anyone makes another man worse. And yet is it not right to keep away from such a man above all as the deadliest and most treacherous of enemies?"

"What shall I do then?" he asked, "for I have no other domestic."

"Well, what will you do," said Diogenes , "when you have no other shoes and those you have hurt and lacerate your feet? Will you not take them off as soon as you can and go barefoot? If, however, they fall off themselves, do you tie them on again and pinch your feet? Why, sometimes barefooted persons get about more easily than those who are badly shod; and similarly, many live more comfortably and with less annoyance without domestics than those who have many. 

"See what worries the rich have. Some are taking care of their sick slaves and wanting doctors and nurses—for it is usually the way of slaves to neglect themselves and not be careful when sick, partly through lack of self-control, partly because they think that if anything befalls them, it will be their master's loss and not their own—other rich men inflict corporal punishment daily, others put fetters on them, while yet others are pursuing runaways. 

"And so it goes; they can neither get away from home easily whenever they like nor have leisure if they stay at home. And the most absurd thing of all is that they are often worse off for help than are the poor who keep no servants. 

"Their situation reminds one of the centipede—I think you know it—which has innumerable feet and yet it is the slowest of creeping things. Do you not know that nature has made each man's body to be sufficient to serve him?—feet so as to move about, hands to work with and to care for the rest of the body, eyes to see, and ears to hear. 

"Besides, she has made his stomach of a size in keeping, so that man does not require more nourishment than he is able to provide for himself, but this amount represents what is quite adequate for each man and best and most wholesome. 

"Just as a hand is all the weaker for having more fingers than belong there naturally, and such a man is called a sort of cripple when he has an extra finger on the outside and cannot use the other fingers properly; so when a man gets equipped with many additional feet, hands, and stomachs, by heavens, he becomes not a whit more efficient for any task whatever, nor does he obtain what he must obtain any better, but rather, much less well and with greater difficulty." 

Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 39

Being reproached for eating in the marketplace, "Well, it was in the marketplace," Diogenes said, "that I felt hungry." 

Some authors affirm that the following also belongs to him: that Plato saw him washing lettuces, came up to him and quietly said to him, "Had you paid court to Dionysius, you wouldn't now be washing lettuces," and that he with equal calmness made answer, "If you had washed lettuces, you wouldn't have paid court to Dionysius." 

When some one said, "Most people laugh at you," his reply was, "And so very likely do the asses at them; but as they don't care for the asses, so neither do I care for them." 

One day observing a youth studying philosophy, he said, "Well done, Philosophy, that you divert admirers of bodily charms to the real beauty of the soul." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.58 

IMAGE: Alison Friend, Pizza Lover (2023) 

Dio Chrysostom, The Isthmian Discourse 2

And on a later occasion when Diogenes saw a person leaving the race track surrounded by a great mob and not even walking on the earth, but carried shoulder high by the throng, with some following after and shouting, others leaping for joy and lifting their hands towards heaven, and still others throwing garlands and ribbons upon him, he asked, when he was able to get near, what was the meaning of the tumult about him, and what had happened. 

The victor replied, "I have won the two hundred yards dash for men, Diogenes." 

"And what does that amount to?" he inquired; "for you certainly have not become one whit more intelligent for having outstripped your competitors, nor more temperate than you were, nor less cowardly, nor are you less discontented, nor will your wants be less in the future or your life freer from grief and pain." 

"No, by heavens," said he, "but I am the fastest on foot of all the Greeks." 

"But not faster than rabbits," said Diogenes, "nor deer; and yet these animals, the swiftest of all, are also the most cowardly. They are afraid of men and dogs and eagles and lead a wretched life. 

"Do you not know," he added, "that speed is a mark of cowardice? It is in the order of things that the swiftest animals are likewise the most timid. Heracles, for instance, on account of being slower than many and unable to catch evildoers by running, used to carry a bow and arrows and to employ them against those who ran from him." 

"But," was the reply, "the poet states that Achilles, who was very swift-footed, was, nevertheless, very brave." 

"And how," exclaimed Diogenes, "do you know that Achilles was swift-footed? For he was unable to overtake Hector although he pursued him all day." 

"Are you not ashamed," he continued, "to take pride in an accomplishment in which you are naturally outclassed by the meanest beasts? I do not believe that you can outstrip even a fox. And by how much did you beat the man after all?" 

"By just a little, Diogenes," said he; "for you know that is what made the victory so marvelous." 

"So," replied Diogenes, "you are fortunate by just one stride." 

"Yes, for all of us who ran were first-rate runners." 

"How much more quickly, however, does a crested lark get over the course than you?" 

"Ah, but it has wings," he said. 

"Well," replied Diogenes, "if the swiftest thing is the best, it is much better, perhaps, to be a lark than to be a man. So then we need not pity the nightingale⁠ or the hoopoe⁠ because they were changed from human beings into birds according to the myth." 

"But," replied he, "I, a man, am the fleetest of men." 

"What of it? Is it not probable that among ants too," Diogenes rejoined, "one is swifter than another? Yet they do not admire it, do they? Or would it not seem absurd to you if one admired an ant for its speed? Then again, if all the runners had been lame, would it have been right for you to take on airs because, being lame yourself, you had outstripped lame men?"

As he spoke to the man in this vein, he made the business of foot racing seem cheap in the eyes of many of the bystanders and caused the winner himself to go away sorrowing and much meeker.  

And this was no small service which he rendered to mankind whenever he discovered anyone who was foolishly puffed up and lost to all reason on account of some worthless thing; for he would humble the man a little and relieve him of some small part of his folly, even as one pricks or punctures inflated and swollen parts. 

On this occasion he saw two horses that were hitched together fall to fighting and kicking each other, with a large crowd standing by and looking on, until one of the animals, becoming exhausted, broke loose and ran off. 

Then Diogenes came up and placed a crown upon the head of the horse that had stood its ground and proclaimed it winner of an Isthmian prize, because it had "won in kicking." 

At this there was a general laugh and uproar, while many applauded Diogenes and derided the athletes. They say, too, that some persons actually left without witnessing their performances—those who had poor lodgings or none. 

Dio Chrysostom, The Isthmian Discourse 1

When the Isthmian games were in progress, Diogenes, who probably was sojourning at Corinth, went down to the Isthmus. He did not attend the great public gatherings, however, with the same motives as the majority, who wished to see the athletes and to gormandize. No, I warrant he came as an observer of mankind and of men's folly. He knew that men show their real character most clearly at public festivals and large gatherings, while in war and in camp it is more concealed owing to the presence of peril and fear. 

Moreover, he thought they were more easily healed here (for bodily diseases are more readily treated by the physician when they are plain to be seen than while the trouble remains hidden), but that those who are neglected when engaged in such pursuits most speedily perish. 

Therefore he used to attend the public gatherings. And he would jestingly remark when taxed for his currish manners, "Well, dogs follow along to the festivals, but they do no wrong to any of those attending; they bark and attack rogues and thieves, and when their masters are in a drunken sleep, they stay awake and guard them." 

No Corinthian, however, paid any attention to him when he appeared at the gathering, because they often saw him in the city and around the Craneion.⁠ For men do not pay much attention to those whom they are constantly seeing and whom they think they can approach whenever they wish, but they turn to those whom they only see at intervals or have never seen before. So the Corinthians derived the least profit from Diogenes, precisely as if sick people would not consult a physician resident in their midst but thought the bare sight of him in the city sufficient.

As regards other persons, it was those from a distance who visited him chiefly, all who came to the festival from Ionia, Sicily, and Italy, and some of those who came from Libya, Massilia,⁠ and Borysthenes,⁠ and the motive of all those was to see and hear him speak for even a short time so as to have something to tell others rather than to get improvement for themselves. For he had the reputation of having a sharp tongue and being instantly ready with an answer for his interrogators. 

Accordingly, just as those who know nothing of the Pontic honey⁠ try a taste of it and then quickly spit it out because it is bitter and unpleasant in taste, so people in their idle curiosity wished to make trial of Diogenes, but on being put to confusion by him would turn on their heels and flee. 

They were amused, of course, when others were railed at, but on their own account they were afraid and so would withdraw out of his way. Again, when he jested and joked, as was his wont at times, they were pleased beyond measure; but when he warmed up and became serious, they could not stand his frankness. The situation was the same, I fancy, as when children delight to play with well-bred dogs but are terrified and scared to death when they show anger and bark more loudly.

At these meetings also he held to the same line of conduct, not changing his ways nor caring whether anyone of his audience commended or criticized him; no, not even if it was some wealthy and prominent person such as a general or ruler who approached and conversed with him, or some very humble and poor individual. When such people talked nonsense, he usually scorned them merely, but those that assumed airs and prided themselves on their wealth or family or some other distinction he would make the especial object of his attack and castigate thoroughly. 

Some admired him, therefore, as the wisest man in the world, to others he seemed crazy, many scorned him as a beggar and a poor good-for‑nothing, some jeered at him, others tried to insult him grossly by throwing bones at his feet as they would to dogs, yet others would approach him and pluck at his cloak, but many could not tolerate him and were indignant. 

It was just like the way in which Homer says the suitors made sport of Odysseus; he too endured their riotous conduct and insolence for a few days, and Diogenes was like him in every respect. For he really resembled a king and lord who in the guise of a beggar moved among the slaves and menials while they caroused in ignorance of his identity, and yet was patient with them, drunken as they were and crazed by reason of ignorance and stupidity.

Generally the managers of the Isthmian games and other honorable and influential men were sorely troubled and held themselves aloof whenever they came his way, and passed on, all of them, in silence and with scowling glances. 

But when he went so far as to put the crown of pine⁠ upon his head, the Corinthians sent some of their servants to bid him lay aside the crown and do nothing unlawful. 

He, however, asked them why it was unlawful for him to wear the crown of pine and not so for others. Whereupon one of them said, "Because you have won no victory, Diogenes." 

To which he replied, "Many and mighty antagonists have I vanquished, not like these slaves who are now wrestling here, hurling the discus and running, but more difficult in every way—I mean poverty, exile, and disrepute; yes, and anger, pain, desire, fear, and the most redoubtable beast of all, treacherous and cowardly, I mean pleasure, which no Greek or barbarian can claim he fights and conquers by the strength of his soul, but all alike have succumbed to her and have failed in this contest—Persians, Medes, Syrians, Macedonians, Athenians, Lacedaemonians—all, that is, save myself. 

"Is it I, then, think you, that am worthy of the pine, or will you take and bestow it upon the one who is stuffed with the most meat? 

"Take this answer, then, to those who sent you and say that it is they who break the law; for they go about wearing crowns and yet have won in no contest; and add that I have lent a great luster to the Isthmian games by having myself taken the crown, which ought to be a thing for goats, forsooth, to fight over, not for men." 

Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 38

On coming to Myndus and finding the gates large, though the city itself was very small, Diogenes cried, "Men of Myndus, bar your gates, lest the city should run away!" 

Seeing a man who had been caught stealing purple, he said:

Fast gripped by purple death and forceful fate. 

When Craterus wanted him to come and visit him, "No," he replied, "I would rather live on a few grains of salt at Athens than enjoy sumptuous fare at Craterus's table." 

He went up to Anaximenes the rhetorician, who was fat, and said, "Let us beggars have something of your paunch; it will be a relief to you, and we shall get advantage." 

And when the same man was discoursing, Diogenes distracted his audience by producing some salt fish. This annoyed the lecturer, and Diogenes said, "An obol's worth of salt fish has broken up Anaximenes' lecture-class." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.57 

Dio Chrysostom, On Virtue 3

"This is the contest which I steadfastly maintain,⁠ and in which I risk my life against pleasure and hardship, yet not a single wretched mortal gives heed to me, but only to the jumpers and runners and dancers. 

"Neither, indeed, did men have eyes for the struggles and labors of Heracles or have any interest in them, but perhaps even then they were admiring certain athletes such as Zetes,⁠ Calaïs,⁠ Peleus,⁠ and other like runners and wrestlers; and some they would admire for their beauty and others for their wealth, as, for example, Jason⁠ and Cinyras.⁠ 

"About Pelops, too, the story ran that he had an ivory shoulder, as if there were any use in a man having a golden or ivory hand or eyes of diamond or malachite; but the kind of soul he had men did not notice. 

"As for Heracles, they pitied him while he toiled and struggled and called him the most 'trouble-ridden,' or wretched, of men; indeed, this is why they gave the name 'troubles,' or tasks, to his labors and works, as though a laborious life were a trouble-ridden, or wretched⁠ life; but now that he is dead they honor him beyond all others, deify him, and say he has Hebe⁠ to wife, and all pray to him that they may not themselves be wretched—to him who in his labors suffered wretchedness exceedingly great.  

"They have an idea, too, that Eurystheus⁠ had him in his power and ordered him about, Eurystheus, whom they considered a worthless fellow and to whom no one ever prayed or sacrificed. 

"Heracles, however, roved over all Europe and Asia, though he did not look at all like any of these athletes; for where could he have penetrated, had he carried so much flesh or required so much meat or drink into such depths of sleep? No, he was as alert and lean like a lion, keen of eye and ear, recking naught of cold or heat, having no use for bed,  shawl, or rug, clad in a dirty skin, with an air of hunger about him, as he succored the good and punished the bad. 

"And because Diomede,⁠ the Thracian, wore such fine raiment and sat upon a throne drinking the livelong day in high revel, and treated strangers unrighteously as well as his own subjects, and kept a large stable, Heracles smote him with his club and smashed him as if he had been an old jar. 

"Then Geryones,⁠ who had ever so many cattle and was the richest of all western lords and the most arrogant, he also killed along with his brothers and drove his cattle away. And when he found Busiris⁠ very diligently training, eating the whole day long, and exceeding proud of his wrestling, Heracles burst him open like an over-filled bag by dashing him to the ground. 

"He loosed the girdle of the Amazon,⁠ who tried to coquet with him and thought to win by means of her beauty. For he both consorted with her and made her understand that he could never be overcome by beauty and would never tarry far away from his own possessions for a woman's sake. 

"And Prometheus,⁠ whom I take to have been a sort of sophist, he found being destroyed by popular opinion; for his liver swelled and grew whenever he was praised and shriveled again when he was censured. So he took pity on him, frightened . . . and thus relieved him of his vanity and inordinate ambition; and straightway he disappeared after making him whole. 

"Now in all those exploits he was not doing a favor to Eurystheus at all. And as to the golden apples that he got and brought back—I mean those of the Hesperides—he did give them to him, since he had no use for them himself, but told him to keep them and go hang; for he explained that apples of gold are of no use to a man, nor had the Hesperides,⁠ either, found them to be. 

"Then, finally, when he was growing ever slower and weaker, from fear that he would not be able to live as before, and besides, I suppose, because he was attacked by some disease, he made the best provision that was humanly possible for himself, for he reared a pyre of the very driest wood in the courtyard and showed that he minded the fiery heat precious little. 

"But before that, to avoid creating the opinion that he did only impressive and mighty deeds, he went and removed and cleaned away the dung in the Augean stables,⁠ that immense accumulation of many years. For he considered that he ought to fight stubbornly and war against opinion⁠ as much as against wild beasts and wicked men." 

While Diogenes thus spoke, many stood about and listened to his words with great pleasure. Then, possibly with this thought of Heracles⁠ in his mind, he ceased speaking and, squatting on the ground, performed an indecent act, whereat the crowd straightway scorned him and called him crazy, and again the sophists raised their din, like frogs in a pond when they do not see the water-snake. 

Dio Chrysostom, On Virtue 2

And when a certain man asked whether he too came to see the contest, Diogenes said, "No, but to take part." 

Then when the man laughed and asked him who his competitors were, he said with that customary glance⁠ of his: "The toughest there are and the hardest to beat, men whom no Greek can look straight in the eye; not competitors, however, who sprint, or wrestle or jump, not those that box, throw the spear, and hurl the discus, but those that chasten a man." 

"Who are they, pray?" asked the other. 

"Hardships," he replied, "very severe and insuperable for gluttonous and folly-stricken men who feast the livelong day and snore at night, but which yield to thin, spare men, whose waists are more pinched in than those of wasps. 

"Or do you think those potbellies are good for anything?—creatures whom sensible people ought to lead around, subject to the ceremony of purification, and then thrust beyond the borders,⁠ or, rather, kill, quarter, and use as food just as people do with the flesh of large fish, don't you know, boiling it in brine and melting out the fat, the way our people at home in Pontus⁠ do with the lard of pigs when they want to anoint themselves. For I think these men have less soul than hogs. 

"But the noble man holds his hardships to be his greatest antagonists, and with them he is ever wont to battle day and night, not to win a sprig of parsley⁠ as so many goats might do, nor for a bit of wild olive,⁠ or of pine,⁠ but to win happiness and virtue throughout all the days of his life, and not merely when the Eleans make proclamation,⁠ or the Corinthians,⁠ or the Thessalian assembly.⁠ 

"He is afraid of none of those opponents nor does he pray to draw another antagonist, but challenges them one after another, grappling with hunger and cold, withstanding thirst, and disclosing no weakness even though he must endure the lash or give his body to be cut or burned. Hunger, exile, loss of reputation, and the like have no terrors for him; nay, he holds them as mere trifles, and while in their very grip the perfect man is often as sportive as boys with their dice and their colored balls. 

"Of course," he continued, "these antagonists do seem terrible and invincible to all cravens; but if you treat them with contempt and meet them boldly, you will find them cowardly and unable to master strong men, in this greatly resembling dogs, which pursue and bite people who run away from them, while some they seize and tear to pieces, but fear and slink away from men who face them and show fight, and in the end wag their tails when they come to know them. 

Most people, however, are in mortal terror of these antagonists, always avoiding them by flight and never looking them in the face. And indeed, just as skilful boxers, if they anticipate their opponents, are not hit at all, but often actually end by winning the bout themselves, but if, on the contrary, they give ground through fear, they receive the heaviest blow; in the same way, if we accept our hardships in a spirit of contempt for them and approach them cheerfully, they avail very little against us; but if we hang back and give way, they appear altogether greater and more severe. 

"You can see that the same thing applies to fire also: if you attack it most vigorously, you put it out; but if with caution and fear, you get badly burned, just as children do when in sport they sometimes try to put out a fire with their tongues. The adversaries of this class are a good deal like the pancratiasts,⁠ who strike, choke, rend, and occasionally kill. 

"But there is another battle more terrible and a struggle not slight but much greater than this and fraught with greater danger, I mean the fight against pleasure. Nor is it like that battle which Homer speaks of when he says, 

Fiercely then around the ships

The struggle was renewed.

With halberds and with trenchant battle axe

They fought, with mighty sword and two-edged spear. 

"No, it is no such battle, for pleasure uses no open force but deceives and casts a spell with baneful drugs, just as Homer says Circe⁠ drugged the comrades of Odysseus, and some forthwith became swine, some wolves, and some other kinds of beasts. 

"Yes, such is this thing pleasure, that hatches no single plot but all kinds of plots, and aims to undo men through sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, with food too, and drink and carnal lust, tempting the waking and the sleeping alike. For it is not possible to set guards and then lie down to sleep as in ordinary warfare, since it is just then of all times that she makes her attack, at one time weakening and enslaving the soul by means of sleep itself, at another, sending mischievous and insidious dreams that suggest her.

"Now work is carried on by means of touch for the most part and proceeds in that way, but pleasure assails a man through each and every sense that he has; and while he must face and grapple with work, to pleasure he must give the widest berth possible and have none but unavoidable dealings with her. 

"And herein the strongest man is indeed strongest, one might almost say, who can keep the farthest away from pleasures; for it is impossible to dwell with pleasure or even to dally with her for any length of time without being completely enslaved. Hence when she gets the mastery and over­powers the soul by her charms, the rest of Circe's sorcery at once follows. With a stroke of her wand pleasure coolly drives her victim into a sort of sty and pens him up, and now from that time forth the man goes on living as a pig or a wolf. 

"Pleasure also brings diverse and deadly vipers into being, and other crawling things that attend constantly upon her as they lie about her doors, and though yearning for pleasure and serving her, they yet suffer a thousand hardships all in vain. For pleasure, after over­powering and taking possession of her victims, delivers them over to hardships, the most hateful and most difficult to endure."