Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 40

When someone expressed astonishment at the votive offerings in Samothrace, Diogenes' comment was, "There would have been far more, if those who were not saved had set up offerings." 

But others attribute this remark to Diagoras of Melos. 

To a handsome youth, who was going out to dinner, he said, "You will come back a worse man." 

When he came back and said next day, "I went and am none the worse for it," Diogenes said, "Not Worse-man (Chiron), but Lax-man (Eurytion)." 

Diogenes was asking alms of a bad-tempered man, who said, "Yes, if you can persuade me." 

"If I could have persuaded you," said Diogenes, "I would have persuaded you to hang yourself." 

He was returning from Lacedaemon to Athens; and on someone asking, "Whither and whence?" he replied, "From the men's apartments to the women's." 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.59