Jottings on Marcus 4

Remember how long you have been putting off these things, and how often you have received an opportunity from the gods, and yet you do not use it. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.4 

The fashionable pundits, the gurus of success, are right to tell me how the Universe will always give me exactly what I need, though they are sadly mistaken about what is necessary to my nature. 

I complain when I don't get the job, or I fail to win back her affections, or I receive derision instead of praise. But those things were never needed. 

In each case, I had the chance to practice humility, or to offer love without condition, or to be constant in my convictions. Those things were always needed. 

Be less like Oprah. Be more like Marcus. 

IMAGE: Gerbrand van den Eeckhout, A Hermit Praying (1663) 

Abandoned Places 70

IMAGE by Keith Dotson 

Nature 72

IMAGE by Rajarshi Banerji 

Stockdale on Stoicism 58

On the tactical side, the main idea I bring away from Epictetus is to "stay off the hook." 

If a prisoner demands conveniences, accepts favors, pleads for relief, aspires to status, attempts to prove something about himself to others, this means giving a manipulator an opening through showing need for "externals." 

The smart inmate makes it his business to find his tormentor’s exact limits, to know his own, and to demonstrate a commitment his adversary finds it unprofitable to challenge. 

A man’s master is he who is able to confer or remove whatever that man seeks or shuns. Whoever then would be free, let him wish nothing, let him decline nothing which depends on others; else he must necessarily be a slave. 

Shun externals, yes. But a man must concern himself in the world of Epictetus and in the world of extortion and manipulation with "internals," or those matters that are "up to him," and only to him. 

 
Our opinions are up to us, our impulses, desires, aversions—in short whatever is of our own doing. 

Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning speaks of the "freedom" he found, even in the depths of terror in his Nazi prison, in realizing that there was one thing they could never take from him: his attitude and his opinion of what was going on. 

As Jean-Paul Sartre said to a priest in another Nazi prison, "Remember, the important thing in here is not what they do to you, but what you do with what they do to you." 

—from James B. Stockdale, Epictetus' Enchiridion: Conflict and Character 

IMAGE: Margaret Bourke-White, The Living Dead of Buchenwald (1945) 

Epictetus, Discourses 2.14.2

So with philosophy; we picture to ourselves the work of the philosopher to be something of this sort: he must bring his own will into harmony with events, in such manner that nothing which happens should happen against our will, and that we should not wish for anything to happen that does not happen. 
 
The result of this is that those who have thus ordered their life do not fail to get what they will, and do not fall into what they will to avoid: each man spends his own life free from pain, from fear, and from distraction, and maintains the natural and acquired relations which unite him to his fellows—the part of son, father, brother, citizen, husband, wife, neighbor, fellow traveler, ruler, subject. 
 
Such is the business of the philosopher as we picture it. The next thing is that we seek how we are to achieve it. 
 
Now we see that the carpenter becomes a carpenter by learning certain things, the helmsman becomes a helmsman by learning certain things. May we, then, infer that in the sphere of conduct too it is not enough merely to wish to become good, but one must learn certain things? We have, then, to look and see what these things are. 

—from Epictetus, Discourses 2.14 
 
We are happy to wear the fancy shoes, but we can’t be bothered to make them, or even to repair them, for ourselves. Our houses are filled with furniture, sometimes quite ornate and luxurious, and yet I have, in my many travels, met just one man who had built it all with his own two hands. 
 
Isn’t it much the same with philosophy, when we enjoy the leisure of pondering deep thoughts, while simultaneously feeling disgusted by the drudgery of establishing our principles? 
 
Those with intellectual aspirations will make sweeping claims about truth and justice, though you will rarely find anyone who is able to define such fundamental terms. Even those who have no use for abstractions, hostile to any life of the mind, can’t help but speak of the good and the bad, of the right and the wrong, in every choice they make. Both the nerds and the jocks are always appealing to ideas from philosophy, and never actually practicing the skills of philosophy. 
 
I think of the countless times someone was fascinated upon first learning of my vocation, only to quickly lose interest once it became clear that philosophy is almost as demanding as calculus. Contrary to common opinion, you can indeed meet beautiful people by quoting Marcus Aurelius, as long as you don’t mind them wandering off after a few minutes. 
 
I wonder if Epictetus is being a bit too generous in how he describes our perception of philosophy, because so very few will go through the trouble of ever questioning their desires: we are moved by a passion, and then, if challenged, we construct a convenient justification for it, as if the conclusion comes before the premises. In any case, there is still a pervasive image of the enlightened sage, who has somehow managed to bring himself into harmony with the Universe—though how he has done so remains suspiciously vague. 
 
However much I might admire the lofty goal, I will not find any liberation without a painstaking knowledge of the thorny path; mystical yearning will not be enough. I have a noble image of the captain standing at the helm, all the while forgetting how it is only his skill as a navigator, acquired through many years of hard experience, that permits him to bring his ship safely into port. 
 
I cannot do what is good without first understanding what is good, for the very concepts of benefit and harm are dependent on a clear grasp of my nature, and how this, in turn, relates to the whole of Nature. 

IMAGE: Albert Edelfelt, The Helmsman (1894) 

The Cheese

Henry David Thoreau 17

Nothing is so much to be feared as fear. Atheism may comparatively be popular with God himself. 

—from Henry David Thoreau, Journals (7 September, 1851) 

Ralph Waldo Emerson 22

We are always getting ready to live, but never living. 

—from Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals (12 April, 1834) 

Owls 20

Epictetus, Discourses 2.14.1

Chapter 14: On Naso. 

Once, when a Roman came in with his son and was listening to one of his lectures, Epictetus said: “This is the method of my teaching,” and broke off short. 

 
And when the Roman begged him to continue, he replied: 
 
Every art, when it is being taught, is tiresome to one who is unskilled and untried in it. The products of the arts indeed show at once the use they are made for, and most of them have an attraction and charm of their own; for though it is no pleasure to be present and follow the process by which a shoemaker learns his art, the shoe itself is useful and a pleasant thing to look at as well. 
 
So too the process by which a carpenter learns is very tiresome to the unskilled person who happens to be by, but his work shows the use of his art. 
 
This you will see still more in the case of music, for if you are by when a man is being taught you will think the process of all things the most unpleasant, yet the effects of music are pleasant and delightful for unmusical persons to hear. 

—from Epictetus, Discourses 2.14 
 
A decade ago, I probably found this chapter to be tedious, and it is likely I skimmed over it, believing this to be just another fussy discussion about method, since I was far more interested in getting to the good stuff, an explanation of how I actually needed to live. 

The fact that I do not remember when I first read it, but I now return to it over and over again, helps me to appreciate a change in my own priorities. I can’t go around saying that the product is terribly exciting, while at the same time complaining that the work is painfully dull. 
 
I think it took a stinging line from Chesterton to really wake me up: “There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.” 
 
And so now, when my students grumble about the next boring topic, I playfully remind them how being bored is yet another form of being lazy and smug. For the curious chemist, watching the paint dry is genuinely exciting, and for the inquisitive botanist, watching the grass grow can become a profound revelation. I know all too well how my sense of entitlement is an obstacle to my sense of wonder. 
 
As a fellow who didn’t own a car until much later in life, I walked most everywhere I needed to go, from one end of town to the other, often in the worst kind of weather. While I was always grateful for a solid pair of shoes, I never gave the skills of the cobbler a second thought, until my best boots got mangled, and an old man in a tiny shop made them look like new within two hours. Now I can’t look at a shoe without thinking of the craftsmanship that went into making it. 
 
Though I came from a long line of fine carpenters, I quickly grew frustrated with the patience and precision the trade required, and so I sadly never mastered the art of woodworking. I regret this now, with only my backyard whittling as a paltry compensation. This unpleasant experience has become a way to remember why the dignity of the end is only possible through the discipline of the means. 
 
Last but not least, I was raised in a house full of music, from which I learned to value the harmony of sound as a reflection of the beauty in all creation, as powerful as any interplay of light. Yet this did not come to me without continual effort, to the point where I would sometimes toss aside my instrument in disgust. What little competence I do possess is thanks to constant practice, and what remains beyond my ability is mainly due to indolence. 
 
Never underestimate the importance of playing your scales, over and over again, until you can no longer feel your fingers. It is the same in all aspects of life: the habit is built through the exercise, and the exercise, however tiresome it may initially appear, opens the way to finally doing the good, instead of merely wishing for it. 

—Reflection written in 9/2001 

IMAGE: Adriaen van Ostade, The Shoemaker (c. 1650) 

Sayings of Ramakrishna 288

As a lamp does not burn without oil, so a man cannot live without God. 

The Mother Road 16

The Basel Dance of Death 19

Matthäus Merian, The Basel Dance of Death: The Noblewoman (1616)  

"My lady, cease your grooming, 
You must now dance with me here. 
I care not for your golden hair. 

What do you see in your shining mirror?" 

"Oh trouble and grief, what has become of me? 
Ì have seen Death in the glass. 
His dreadful form has terrified me, 

so that the heart in my body is cold." 

Ellis Walker, Epictetus in Poetical Paraphrase 64

LXIV. 

If you a strict enquiry make, you'll find,
That to each thing, two handles are assign'd.
One not to be endur'd, that will admit
No touch, there's none, alas! can manage it.
The other tractable, which every hand
With mod'rate skill and prudence may command.
If then your brother injures you through pride,
Or fraud, lay hold upon the safer side;
And do not straight examine his offence,
Touch'd with too deep, and too grievous a sense
Of the wrong offer'd, lest you discompose
Your mind, and wrath to injury oppose;
Lest in a tempest you yourself engage,
Which only serves to blow, to inflame his rage.
But rather think how near you are ally'd,
That such offences ought not to divide,
And break the knot, which nature's hand hath ty'd;
Remember all the happy years you spent
Under one roof, and the same management;
Rememb'ring this, you'll soon forget the ill
Your brother did you, he's your brother still.

William Hogarth, Industry and Idleness 2

Almost as intense as my youthful aversion to hard work, built upon the false premise that labor existed only for the sake of amassing fortune and fame, was a similar distaste for the task of attending church, built upon the false premise that public worship existed only so that the blowhards could fulfill their quota of prancing about for the week. 

Once again, taking a moment with Hogarth helped me to reconsider my assumptions. Both working and praying become a joy when they are driven by understanding and by love—the problems arise when we work for greed and pray out of vanity. 

For all of my protests, I always knew that piety was a virtue, because I always knew how what is lesser can only be defined through what is greater. My selfishness, however, would keep me from putting this into practice, and there was no easier excuse for being spiritually lazy than pointing my finger at other people. Look at those hypocrites, pretending to be holy while they satisfy their own appetites! 

This does not, of course, disprove the presence of the Divine, and it only shows why we need those graces all the more. If another man is making a mockery of his duties, am I suddenly allowed to abandon my own? Let him have his worldly amusements, and I can still keep my peace of mind—don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. 

Every Sunday, I was furious with the decadent priests at the altar and the sanctimonious scoundrels in the pews, which did everything to damage me and nothing to improve them. God asks for charity from me, and yet that turns out to be the one thing I refuse to give. 

As much as I appreciate a heady theological argument, this simple image does more for me than any string of syllogisms. It is one thing to merely talk about the qualities of a good man, and quite another to show me the example of a good man. 

Francis, accompanied by his master's daughter, is not interested in putting on some holy show, or catching up on the latest gossip. He is just happy to sing from his hymnal, neither putting on airs nor rolling his eyes in boredom. That he is doing so in the company of a nice young lady is not lost on me, a fellow who wasted too many years chasing after girls who could talk the talk, but would never walk the walk. 

In the top right we have the vain woman and the sleeping man, so commonly found in any place of worship. Francis is wise enough not pay them any heed, since the modest task for the day is right before him. 

We can hardly overlook the figure of the pew opener, the old lady who would guide worshippers to their seats. While it is likely that very few have noticed her, it is clear that Hogarth has noticed her, and I would dare to propose that God has also noticed her humble service. 

Prayer is surely not so taxing when it is actually about devotion, and not reduced to a tedious social performance. 

Psalms 119:97 

O! How I love thy Law it is my
meditation all the day. 

William Hogarth, Industry and Idleness 2: The Industrious Prentice Performing the Duty of a Christian (1747) 

James Vila Blake, Sonnets from Marcus Aurelius 30

30. 

Ἡλίκην ἐξουσίαν ἔχει ἄνθρωπος μὴ ποιεῖν ἄλλο ἢ ὅπερ μέλλει ὁ θεὸς ἐπαινεῖν, καὶ δέχεσθαι πᾶν ὃν νέμῃ αὐτῷ ὁ θεός.

What a great power any man has not to do anything else than what God shall approve, and to receive contentedly whatsoever God sets apart for him. 

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.11 

30. 

To what endowment rich and eminent 

A man is born, what heraldic renown, 

And what estate, what wealthy brave descent, 

And in all measures what a meed and crown! 

What can compel or mould him from his course 

And place august, what power prevail to move 

His stationed foot, what strength against all force 

He hath to do but what God will approve! 

And it behoves me to remember well 

I lead not, but am led; wherefore for me 

To be a good led-man ’s my citadel, 

Obedient mind my joy and dignity. 

How blest our case, ne’er to be forced to wrong, 

With free feet marching, in our mouth a song! 

IMAGE: Luca Cambiaso, Benediction of God the Father (c. 1565) 

Epictetus, Discourses 2.13.6

Well, if you are a rider and have to confront a man on foot in the plain, where you have the advantage of practice and he has not, are you anxious? 
 
“Nay, but he has power to put me to death.” 
 
Miserable man, tell the truth and be not a braggart nor claim to be a philosopher. Know who are your masters. As long as you give them this hold over your body, you must follow everyone who is stronger than you. 
 
But Socrates, who spoke to the Tyrants, to his judges, and in prison, in the tone we know, had studied speaking to some purpose. So had Diogenes, who spoke in the same tone to Alexander, to Philip, to the pirates, to his purchaser. . . . 
 
Leave this to those who have made it their concern, to the confident: and do you go to your own concerns and never leave them again. Go and sit in your corner and weave syllogisms and propound them to others, “No ruler of a state is found in you." 

—from Epictetus, Discourses 2.13 
 
I feel sympathetic when Epictetus gets irritated with those whose convictions disappear at the moment they become inconvenient. Such folks are quick to brag about their lofty principles, and yet you won’t hear a peep out of them once there is any danger to their property or reputation, let alone a risk to life and limb. Allow them to sit in their corner, while you are now free to join the company of the sincere and the confident. 
 
I may claim that I am merely playing it safe, but am I considering the true balance of my gains and losses? Perhaps I have retained some comforts for my body, at least for the time being, but what has been the cost to the dignity of my soul? As soon as I bow to the threats, I am selling the conscience within my power, and I have become subject to the circumstances beyond my power. 
 
I sometimes hear the bounders debating whether it is better to be a little fish in a big pond or a big fish in a little pond, and I can only think that I would just prefer to be a good fish in any sort of pond. I should be much pickier about my character than I am about the scenery. 
 
How quickly the sharks end up looking more like minnows! If I wish to be a man of any worth, I must first get my priorities in order. If I wish to aim at some great achievement, let that be in the pursuit of the virtues, where the fine words must always be followed by gutsy deeds. No one can ever take that away. 
 
Do I aspire to be more like Socrates? Where some see only an agitator, feeding off the doubts of his neighbors, others will recognize his mission of self-awareness. He scolded the jurors so that they might learn to find a blessing in a curse. Socrates had no need to impress anyone, so he had no need to fear anyone. 
 
Do I aspire to be more like Diogenes? Where some see only a showman, intent on shocking his audience, others will follow his example of self-mastery. He dismissed Alexander so that he might learn why a king is no different than a slave. Diogenes had no rank to protect, so he had no limits to his liberty. 
 
An anxiety over our consequences decreases as a trust in our integrity increases. 

—Reflection written in 8/2001 

IMAGE: Pierre Paul Puget, The Meeting of Alexander and Diogenes (1680) 

Snippets from the Handbook 2

Things in our power are by nature free, unhindered, untrammeled; things not in our power are weak, servile, subject to hindrance, dependent on others. 

Remember then that if you imagine that what is naturally slavish is free, and what is naturally another's is your own, you will be hampered, you will mourn, you will be put to confusion, you will blame gods and men. 

But if you think that only your own belongs to you, and that what is another's is indeed another's, no one will ever put compulsion or hindrance on you, you will blame none, you will accuse none, you will do nothing against your will, no one will harm you, you will have no enemy, for no harm can touch you. 

—Epictetus, The Handbook 1 

Jottings on Marcus 3

All that is from the gods is full of Providence. 

That which is from fortune is not separated from Nature, or without an interweaving and involution with the things which are ordered by Providence. 

From thence all things flow; and there is besides necessity, and that which is for the advantage of the whole Universe, of which you are a part. . . . 

—from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.3 

I remain under the illusion that there must be order, purpose, and design in the big things, while completely neglecting the order, purpose, and design in the little things. 

Even the smallest part is significant to the whole, and it is never overlooked. What I still call good or back luck really has nothing to do with luck at all. 

Stop expecting it to be impressive for it to be significant. The true, the good, and the beautiful are present at every scale. God is not too busy, I am too lazy. 

IMAGE: Giovanni Lanfranco, Providence (c. 1625) 

Dhammapada 422

Him I call indeed a Brahmana, the manly, the noble, the hero, the great sage, the conqueror, the impassible, the accomplished, the awakened. 

IMAGE: Kishi Ganku, Buddhist Sage (1756)