The victor replied, "I have won the two hundred yards dash for men, Diogenes."
"And what does that amount to?" he inquired; "for you certainly have not become one whit more intelligent for having outstripped your competitors, nor more temperate than you were, nor less cowardly, nor are you less discontented, nor will your wants be less in the future or your life freer from grief and pain."
"No, by heavens," said he, "but I am the fastest on foot of all the Greeks."
"But not faster than rabbits," said Diogenes, "nor deer; and yet these animals, the swiftest of all, are also the most cowardly. They are afraid of men and dogs and eagles and lead a wretched life.
"Do you not know," he added, "that speed is a mark of cowardice? It is in the order of things that the swiftest animals are likewise the most timid. Heracles, for instance, on account of being slower than many and unable to catch evildoers by running, used to carry a bow and arrows and to employ them against those who ran from him."
"But," was the reply, "the poet states that Achilles, who was very swift-footed, was, nevertheless, very brave."
"And how," exclaimed Diogenes, "do you know that Achilles was swift-footed? For he was unable to overtake Hector although he pursued him all day."
"Are you not ashamed," he continued, "to take pride in an accomplishment in which you are naturally outclassed by the meanest beasts? I do not believe that you can outstrip even a fox. And by how much did you beat the man after all?"
"By just a little, Diogenes," said he; "for you know that is what made the victory so marvelous."
"So," replied Diogenes, "you are fortunate by just one stride."
"Yes, for all of us who ran were first-rate runners."
"How much more quickly, however, does a crested lark get over the course than you?"
"Ah, but it has wings," he said.
"Well," replied Diogenes, "if the swiftest thing is the best, it is much better, perhaps, to be a lark than to be a man. So then we need not pity the nightingale or the hoopoe because they were changed from human beings into birds according to the myth."
"But," replied he, "I, a man, am the fleetest of men."
"What of it? Is it not probable that among ants too," Diogenes rejoined, "one is swifter than another? Yet they do not admire it, do they? Or would it not seem absurd to you if one admired an ant for its speed? Then again, if all the runners had been lame, would it have been right for you to take on airs because, being lame yourself, you had outstripped lame men?"
As he spoke to the man in this vein, he made the business of foot racing seem cheap in the eyes of many of the bystanders and caused the winner himself to go away sorrowing and much meeker.
And this was no small service which he rendered to mankind whenever he discovered anyone who was foolishly puffed up and lost to all reason on account of some worthless thing; for he would humble the man a little and relieve him of some small part of his folly, even as one pricks or punctures inflated and swollen parts.
On this occasion he saw two horses that were hitched together fall to fighting and kicking each other, with a large crowd standing by and looking on, until one of the animals, becoming exhausted, broke loose and ran off.
Then Diogenes came up and placed a crown upon the head of the horse that had stood its ground and proclaimed it winner of an Isthmian prize, because it had "won in kicking."
At this there was a general laugh and uproar, while many applauded Diogenes and derided the athletes. They say, too, that some persons actually left without witnessing their performances—those who had poor lodgings or none.
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