Dio Chrysostom, On Servants 1

Once when Diogenes was leaving Corinth for Athens, he met an acquaintance on the road and asked whither he was going; not, however, as most persons ask such questions and thereby make a show of interest in their friends' affairs, yet have no sooner heard than off they go; no, but just as physicians ask the sick what they are planning to do, with the idea of giving them counsel and recommending what they should do and what they should avoid, so for the same purpose Diogenes asked the man what he was doing. 

And the latter replied, "I am on my way to Delphi, Diogenes, to make use of⁠ the Oracle, but when I was about to pass through Boeotia, my slave, who was with me, ran away, and so I am now bound for Corinth, for perhaps I may find the boy there." 

At this Diogenes replied with that characteristic earnestness of his, "And so, you ridiculous fellow, are you attempting to make use of the god when you are incapable of using a slave? Or does not the latter strike you as less difficult and dangerous than the former for those who are incapable of using things⁠ properly? Besides, what is your object in hunting for the boy? Was he not a bad slave?" 

"Yes, he certainly was," replied the latter, "for although I had done him no wrong and, what is more, had made him my body-servant, he ran away." 

"Perhaps he thought you were a bad master, for if he had thought you were a good one, he would never have left you." 

"Perhaps, Diogenes, it was because he was bad himself." 

"And so," continued Diogenes, "because he thought you were bad, he ran off to avoid injury by you, while you are searching for him although you say he is bad, evidently with the desire to be injured by him! 

"Is it not true that bad men are injurious to those who own them or to those who use them, whether they be Phrygians or Athenians, bond or free? And yet no one hunts for a runaway dog that he thinks is no good; nay, some even kick such a dog if he comes back; but when people are rid of a bad man they are not satisfied, but go to a lot of trouble by sending word to their friends, making trips themselves, and spending money to get the fellow back again. 

"Now do you believe that more have been hurt by bad dogs than by bad men? To be sure we hear that one man, Actaeon, was slain by worthless dogs, and mad ones at that; but it is not even possible to say how many private individuals, kings, and whole cities have been destroyed by bad men, some by servants, some by soldiers and bodyguards, others by so‑called friends, and yet others by sons and brothers and wives. 

"Is it not, therefore, a great gain when one happens to be rid of a bad man? p423 Should one hunt and chase after him? That would be like hunting after a disease one had got rid of and trying to get it back into one's system again."

The man replied, "What you say is right enough, Diogenes, but it is hard for a man who has been wronged not to seek redress. That renegade suffered no wrong at my hands, as you see, and yet he dared to desert me. At my house he did none of the work that slaves perform, but was kept inside in idleness with nothing else to do but to accompany me." 

"Then were you doing him no wrong," Diogenes answered, "by keeping him in idleness and ignorance and making him as bad as could be? For idleness and lack of occupation are the best things in the world to ruin the foolish. 

"Therefore he was right in deciding that you were his undoing, and he was justified in running off, evidently so as to get work and not become worse and worse all the time by loafing, sleeping, and eating. But you, perhaps, think that it is a trifling wrong when anyone makes another man worse. And yet is it not right to keep away from such a man above all as the deadliest and most treacherous of enemies?"

"What shall I do then?" he asked, "for I have no other domestic."

"Well, what will you do," said Diogenes , "when you have no other shoes and those you have hurt and lacerate your feet? Will you not take them off as soon as you can and go barefoot? If, however, they fall off themselves, do you tie them on again and pinch your feet? Why, sometimes barefooted persons get about more easily than those who are badly shod; and similarly, many live more comfortably and with less annoyance without domestics than those who have many. 

"See what worries the rich have. Some are taking care of their sick slaves and wanting doctors and nurses—for it is usually the way of slaves to neglect themselves and not be careful when sick, partly through lack of self-control, partly because they think that if anything befalls them, it will be their master's loss and not their own—other rich men inflict corporal punishment daily, others put fetters on them, while yet others are pursuing runaways. 

"And so it goes; they can neither get away from home easily whenever they like nor have leisure if they stay at home. And the most absurd thing of all is that they are often worse off for help than are the poor who keep no servants. 

"Their situation reminds one of the centipede—I think you know it—which has innumerable feet and yet it is the slowest of creeping things. Do you not know that nature has made each man's body to be sufficient to serve him?—feet so as to move about, hands to work with and to care for the rest of the body, eyes to see, and ears to hear. 

"Besides, she has made his stomach of a size in keeping, so that man does not require more nourishment than he is able to provide for himself, but this amount represents what is quite adequate for each man and best and most wholesome. 

"Just as a hand is all the weaker for having more fingers than belong there naturally, and such a man is called a sort of cripple when he has an extra finger on the outside and cannot use the other fingers properly; so when a man gets equipped with many additional feet, hands, and stomachs, by heavens, he becomes not a whit more efficient for any task whatever, nor does he obtain what he must obtain any better, but rather, much less well and with greater difficulty."