Of hiding our grace under the guard of humility
1. "My Son, it is better and safer for you to hide the grace of
devotion, and not to lift yourself up on high, nor to speak much
thereof, nor to value it greatly; but rather to despise yourself,
and to fear as though this grace were given to one unworthy
thereof. Nor must you depend too much upon this feeling, for it
can very quickly be turned into its opposite. Think when you are in a state of grace how miserable and poor you are wont to
be without grace. Nor is there advance in spiritual life in this
alone, that you have the grace of consolation, but that you
humbly and unselfishly and patiently take the withdrawal
thereof; so that you cease not from the exercise of prayer, nor
suffer your other common duties to be in anywise neglected; rather
do your task more readily, as though you had gained more
strength and knowledge; and do not altogether neglect yourself
because of the dearth and anxiety of spirit which you feel.
2. "For there are many who, when things have not gone prosperous
with them, become forthwith impatient or slothful. For the way
of a man is not in himself, but it is God's to give and to
console, when He will, and as much as He will, and whom He will,
as it shall please Him, and no further. Some who were
presumptuous because of the grace of devotion within them, have
destroyed themselves, because they would do more than they were
able, not considering the measure of their own littleness, but
rather following the impulse of the heart than the judgment of
the reason. And because they presumed beyond what was
well-pleasing unto God, therefore they quickly lost grace. They
became poor and were left vile, who had built for themselves
their nest in heaven; so that being humbled and stricken with
poverty, they might learn not to fly with their own wings, but
to put their trust under My feathers. They who are as yet new
and unskilled in the way of the Lord, unless they rule themselves
after the counsel of the wise, may easily be deceived and led
away.
3. "But if they wish to follow their own fancies rather than
trust the experience of others, the result will be very dangerous
to them if they still refuse to be drawn away from their own
notion. Those who are wise in their own conceits, seldom
patiently endure to be ruled by others. It is better to have a
small portion of wisdom with humility, and a slender
understanding, than great treasures of sciences with vain
self-esteem. It is better for you to have less than much of
what may make you proud. He does not very discreetly who
gives up himself entirely to joy, forgetting his former
helplessness and the chaste fear of the Lord, which fears to
lose the grace offered. Nor is he very wise, after a manly sort,
who in time of adversity, or any trouble whatsoever, bears
himself too despairingly, and feels concerning Me less
trustfully than he ought.
4. "He who in time of peace wills to be oversecure shall be
often found in time of war overdispirited and full of fears. If you knew always how to continue humble and moderate in yourself, and to guide and rule your own spirit well, you
would not so quickly fall into danger and mischief. It is
good counsel that when fervor of spirit is kindled, you
should meditate how it will be with you when the light is
taken away. Which when it does happen, remember that still the
light may return again, which I have taken away for a time for a
warning to you, and also for mine own glory. Such a trial is
often more useful than if you had always things prosperous
according to your own will.
5. "For merits are not to be reckoned by this, that a man has
many visions or consolations, or that he is skilled in the
Scriptures, or that he is placed in a high situation; but that he
is grounded upon true humility and filled with divine charity,
that he always purely and uprightly seeks the honor of God,
that he sets not by himself, but unfeignedly despises
himself, and even rejoices to be despised and humbled by others
more than to be honored."
No comments:
Post a Comment