“As
soon as you have devoted yourself to philosophy, you will have overcome all
disgust at life: you will not wish for darkness because you are weary of the
light, nor will you be a trouble to yourself and useless to others. You will
acquire many friends, and all the best men will be attracted towards you, for
virtue, in however obscure a position, cannot be hidden, but gives signs of its
presence; anyone who is worthy will trace it out by its footsteps.”
I must read these words from a Stoic
perspective, because otherwise following them might bring me a load of hurt. I
need to know what it means to be philosophical, I need to know what it means to
be useful, I need to know what it means to be a friend, and I need to know who
the best people really are.
I will find light and joy in my life
not by following philosophy merely as an academic discipline, but by pursuing
wisdom so I can practice virtue from day to day, in the simplest and most
immediate manner. The fulfillment will then come from the knowledge that my own
power to do what is good, in even the smallest of circumstances, is all that I
need. I am then finally myself, stripped of all the accessories, what Nature
intended me to be.
I will become useful in this life
not by making anyone rich, or by becoming famous, or by magically fixing all of
the world’s problems, but by being committed to fixing myself. Once I can
attend to that, the rest will take care of itself, because whatever happens is
now measured by character instead of gratification. The greatest utility is in
the exercise of humanity, not in the acquisition of things.
I will win friends not by convincing
many people to adore me, but by finding the right people to offer my love, to
give me the opportunity to live with compassion and concern. I once thought
that I needed friends for what they gave to me, but I now see that I need
friends for what I can give to them. All the greatest loss and pain I have felt
in my life came from misunderstanding who my friends truly were.
I will surround myself with the best
people not by sucking up to the movers and the shakers, but by only showing
kindness, and treating others fairly. Like is drawn to like. I must be careful
about who I consider the “best”, because the definition I should give is not
the same as the one we are all too familiar with. The best people stick with
you, they love you for your own sake, and they don’t let you down. If I bother
to care, I will find that other people who care will notice; it is as if we had
a secret language.
What disgusts me about life, as it
turns out, isn’t what other people do at all. What disgusts me about life is my
own unwillingness to come to peace with what other people do, since I have been
unable to come to peace with myself.
Yes, it hurts quite a bit to learn
that; how dare the blame come back to me! Yet once I act with sincere love, I
can then respect others, and I can finally respect myself. Treat another person
as a second self, and there will be no greed, no lust, and no conflict. Now I
can be a philosopher, now I can be useful, now I can be a friend, now I can
find the best people.
Written in 6/2011
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