Training that is peculiar to the
soul consists first of all in seeing that the proofs pertaining to apparent
goods as not being real goods are always ready at hand, and likewise those
pertaining to apparent evils as not being real evils, and in learning to
recognize the things that are truly good and in becoming accustomed to
distinguish them from what are not truly good.
In the next place it consists of
practice in not avoiding any of the things that only seem evil, and in not
pursuing any of the things that only seem good; in shunning by every means those
that are truly evil and in pursuing by every means those that are truly good.
In that
the soul should have rule over the body, it must also improve its own distinct
powers, shaped by its own distinct habits. In this, its judgment can rise above
the bewildering stream of impressions and circumstances, discerning the way
things truly are, in the confusion of merely how they might seem.
If what
is superior has no mastery over itself, it can hardly have any mastery over
what is inferior. Consider all the managers who tell you to do what they cannot
do, or all the teachers who preach to you what they cannot practice.
It will
be no different when we ask people to go into the world, and to take responsibility
for themselves, yet we have never really encouraged them to carefully distinguish
between right and wrong. Neglect such a training of the mind, and no other
skill or habit will be of any use at all.
And we
wonder why we have so many headless producers and consumers running about,
guided by nothing, satisfied by anything.
Wisdom
requires first understanding what the difference is between good and evil, as
well as then also understanding by which means to go about pursuing one and
avoiding the other. This may not come as easily as I anticipate, because I will
always want what I see as beneficial and I will always fly from what I see as
harmful, but I will not always be seeing it clearly. Even a fool seeks a good
life, though only a wise man knows the good life.
Desires
can get it all muddied, fears can get it all tangled up. How I feel at one
moment may make it appear bigger than it is, and how I feel at another moment
may make it appear smaller than it is.
As
Epictetus said, I should demand that the impression stand back for a moment,
and not let myself be overpowered by its force. It is not always as beautiful
or as ugly as it first seems; I must look within it to know what it truly is in
itself, and I must look within myself to know what I am truly called to make of
it.
Let me
consider all the things I mistakenly took to be good, and let me consider all
the things I mistakenly took to be bad. The list could easily fill a big book.
That I wanted to do what was right was never in question, yet I got quite
befuddled and turned around about the meaning of what was right, or how to get
it.
Did I
want love? Isn’t love a good thing? Not when I confuse it with lust.
Did I
want justice? Isn’t justice a good thing? Not when I confuse it with vengeance.
Did I
want happiness? Isn’t happiness a good thing? Not when I confuse it with
pleasure, or power, or wealth.
It may
sound so simple, and to the cynical or jaded it may sound quite silly, but
there is often no better solution to a problem than patiently thinking it
through. This isn’t just about aimlessly pondering and scratching my chin; it
demands getting to the source of what is good, and this means going back quite
a few steps in isolating the most important goal.
I should
for example, never assume that whatever feels pleasant is good, or that
whatever is convenient is good, or that whatever saves face is good. Before
deciding and acting, might I ask myself what I ultimately need in this life,
and then if doing this or that will bring me closer to such an end? No
calculus, or particle physics, or advanced philosophy is required; only
sincerity and humility are required.
If I had
done that, I would not have fallen in love with a player. Without question, I
would not have looked the other way while my friends suffered. Immediately, I
would have been willing to give more than I was given.
I have
now seen it dozens and dozens of times, when I sit down with an addict, and I plead
with him not to use, just for today:
“Think
of what you will gain, and what you will lose, and balance that in your head.
That means coming to terms with what is worth gaining, and what is worth
losing, because our old habits have a way of messing with our priorities. None
of us can recover from what ails us, whatever it may be, without being brutally
honest about what matters the most.”
On some
days, a person saves himself for that day. On a few other days, a person has a
deeper insight about a greater sense of direction. Rarely, but quite joyfully,
one will see a person turning his entire life around.
The
proximate only falls into place through an awareness of the ultimate. What
seems only makes sense through what is real. I can’t just say, “This is good!”
without staring the good straight in the face, without returning to the
beginning.
Written in 7/1999
No comments:
Post a Comment