Lecture
6: On training
He was always earnestly urging those who were associated with him to make practical application of his teachings, using some such arguments as the following:
Virtue, he said, is not simply
theoretical knowledge, but it is practical application as well, just like the
arts of medicine and music. Therefore, as the physician and the musician not
only must master the theoretical side of their respective arts, but must also
train themselves to act according to their principles, so a man who wishes to
become good not only must be thoroughly familiar with the precepts which are
conducive to virtue but must also be earnest and zealous in applying these
principles.
Yes,
yes, of course, we will all say that we understand this. And yet we still won’t
bother doing it. As long as no one catches us out, we are quite content with
the nobility of the idea, never expecting to do what we say.
I do
sometimes wonder if Stoicism, as a way of living and not merely as a way of
thinking, might require a certain moment of gritty epiphany, where all of those
fancy thoughts are pushed right into the dirt, where the paths of reflection
and action must finally cross in a messy sort of way.
Perhaps
that is only the path I have ended up taking, but I do know that the Stoic must
begin with altering his own judgments, and then he must completely rebuild the
way he manages his life.
If it
doesn’t hurt like hell, at least for a bit, and if it doesn’t make me look the
fool in the eyes of the folks who like to run things, and if it doesn’t
challenge me to give up everything I used to care for, then I’m probably not
doing it right.
Some
people will tell me that my morality must be a private affair, between me and myself,
and perhaps with whatever God I may worship, and it must always stay in my own
head, never intruding on the desires of others. Through it all, I must act in
conformity with what is expected of me, and I must play the game everyone else
tells me to play.
But then
it isn’t really morality at all, is it? Where is the merit if it is only
thought, believed, or admired in abstraction? If it is right, then it is worth
doing. If it is inconvenient for my preferences, that will still be no barrier,
precisely because it is right, a completion of what makes me human to begin
with. How is this not clear?
It is
only unclear when there is a division between thought and action, when the
comfort of contemplation is trumped by the pleasure of gratification. I know
when I am doing this, just as well as you do; the difficulty is in learning to
admit that we are fractured within ourselves, that we are living an enormous
lie.
“But if
I followed my conscience, I’d lose my job! Where would that leave me?”
Perhaps,
but for the first time in my life I would be my own master, and not a puppet.
That would be my reward for finally being human, and, if I understood it with
any depth, I would care very little for any of the rest. Of course that
troubles me, but if it troubles me that much, my mind and heart may not be in
the right place yet. Go back to square one; the Stoic Turn is still around the
corner.
“But if
I applied what I really know inside, everyone would laugh at me!”
Quite
likely, but if I am certain in my convictions, why do I care what others think?
They don’t own me; why fear what cannot hurt me? They have chosen their paths,
and I have chosen mine. If I know that I have chosen the truth, I will then
live in that truth. Or do I still doubt my own values? Go back to square one;
the Stoic Turn is still around the corner.
“But if
I do it, it won’t change the world one bit. Everyone else will still continue
lying, cheating, and stealing!”
Yes,
they probably will. The world will do what it does, and I will do what I do.
But a terribly important change will have taken place: one part, however small,
is back on track. And am I so sure I’m not also changing the rest of the world,
in my own way, in a time and manner I may not at first comprehend? My own love
affects other things in subtle ways. Am I still wavering? Go back to square one;
the Stoic Turn is still around the corner.
If it
matters the most in theory, then it will also apply the most in practice.
Otherwise it is just a pipe dream. It will mean as much as I make it mean.
Written in 7/1999
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