. . . On the other hand, he who
grumbles and complains and bemoans himself is nevertheless forcibly obliged to
obey orders, and is dragged away, however much against his will, to carry them
out.
Yet what madness is it to be dragged
rather than to follow? As great, by Hercules, as it is folly and ignorance of
one's true position to grieve because one has not got something, or because something
has caused us rough treatment, or to be surprised or indignant at those ills
which befall good men as well as bad ones, I mean diseases, deaths, illnesses,
and the other cross accidents of human life.
Let us bear with magnanimity whatever
the system of the Universe makes it needful for us to bear. We are all bound by
this oath: "To bear the ills of mortal life, and to submit with a good grace
to what we cannot avoid."
We have been born into a monarchy: our
liberty is to obey God.
—Seneca
the Younger, On the happy life,
Chapter 15 (tr Stewart)
In our
supposedly democratic and egalitarian age, we dislike the very idea of obeying.
This is, I suspect, because we automatically assume that it proceeds only from
fear or coercion. We avoid speeding in our cars, so the conventional wisdom
goes, because we fear the sanction of receiving a ticket. We resent the
intrusion, but we submit begrudgingly. This is why we feel liberated by
breaking the law when no one is looking.
Like
good Utilitarians, we may show kindness to others because we fear the sanction
of social disapproval. We may not enjoy it, but we submit begrudgingly. This is
why we feel liberated by mocking or dismissing others when they are not looking.
How many
times have I slammed on the brakes when I see a police car? How many times have
I found a sinister pleasure in gossiping about someone to whom I had just given
a friendly smile moments earlier?
It
doesn’t have to be that way. I can choose to drive safely, or show respect to
my neighbor, not because I have to, but because I want to. I need not obey out
of fear, but because I know that something is right. I can replace that resentment
with willing love.
Nature
will unfold according to her own laws, and things in this world will be as they
are, often far beyond my power to determine. What remains for me is to decide
how I will relate to everything that is around me. Will I freely join with
Nature, or will I oppose and resist her? Will I work with or against the good
in things? Will I take Fortune and all of my circumstances, whether painful or
pleasant, with character and dignity, or will I demand and complain? Either
way, I will be subject to Providence, but as a partner in one way, or as a
prisoner in another.
Over the
years, I had many students who resisted learning, who felt that they were merely
being forced to jump through all the hoops of education. In many ways they were
quite right, because so much of what we consider schooling has sadly become an
exercise in conformity and submission.
I
reminded them that the norms of our society, right or wrong, do indeed demand
this of them, but they may now make of this whatever they choose. Are they
willing to discover something in the situation, to freely decide to find
something valuable in what is before them? I suggested they think less about
bowing to their teachers, or running after the best grades, and simply become
curious for their own sake, and to think for themselves. It was funny how all the grades and achievements
took care of themselves, if only they made that willing commitment.
For many
years, I have felt bound by the profound promises I made to my wife. Sometimes
it has been a joy, and sometimes it has been a struggle. There has been great
pleasure, and there has also been great pain, as there is in all walks of life.
That commitment holds meaning not because I must follow, but because I choose
to follow. I submit and obey not from a law of fear or force, but from a law of
hope and love. I am bound, for better or for worse, because I wish to be bound.
We may
not be too keen on the idea of monarchy these days, but when Seneca speaks of
God as a king, he means it not as a tyrant to be feared, but as a benefactor to be
loved.
Written in 1/2012
Image: Nainsukh. The Poet Bihari Offers Homage to Radha and Krishna (c. 1760)
No comments:
Post a Comment