Whatever
this is that I am, it is a little flesh and breath, and the ruling part.
Throw
away your books. No longer distract yourself, for it is not allowed, but as if you
were now dying, despise the flesh. It is blood and bones and a network, a
contexture of nerves, veins, and arteries. See the breath also, what kind of a thing
it is, air, and not always the same, but every moment sent out and again sucked
in.
The
third, then, is the ruling part. Consider this: you are an old man, no longer
let this be a slave, no longer be pulled by the strings like a puppet to
unsocial movements, no longer either be dissatisfied with your present lot, or
shrink from the future.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 2 (tr
Long)
Stoicism
has a wonderful way of helping us to see things from a new perspective,
sometimes revealing the direct opposite of what we thought was true, or pointing
to a complete reversal of what we thought was valuable in life. I have often
called this the “Stoic Turn”, and it can at the same time be both an unnerving
and a liberating experience.
Consider
how we define ourselves. For all of our insistence on respecting what people
are on the “inside”, we are usually quite obsessed with what is on the outside.
We worship the things of the body: its appearance, its pleasure, its strength,
its health, its longevity, and its possessions.
What
fabric have I draped over my body today, and what chemicals line my face? What
kind of box does my body live in, and what kind of smaller box do I move around
in? When my body goes to yet another box that gives me the pieces of paper to acquire
the first two boxes, do the other bodies there make me feel good about myself?
When I get back to my own box at night, how will I gratify my body? Will any of
this make any difference when I end up dead in one final box?
The body
is just an arrangement of matter, and all the things that adorn it are just
different arrangements of matter. What gives that matter life, what we call the
breath, is just the motion of matter. These things are brought into existence
by combination, they exist very briefly in a fragile and precarious state, and
then they suddenly cease to exist by separation.
To
“despise” the flesh is not to want to destroy it, but to recognize that there
is absolutely nothing about it that is worth loving for its own sake. I should
be completely indifferent to my body, not by failing to care for it, but by knowing
that it only becomes good or bad depending on how it is ordered and directed by
reason, by the ruling part.
What is
meaningful and valuable in this life is not the mere presence of the body, or
the fact that it is living instead of dead, or how that body is tied together
to other bodies. What gives dignity and purpose to life is the ability to
understand what is true and good, to freely choose it, and to act upon it. It
is not merely in the living, but in how well we live. It is through awareness,
both of itself and its world, that the ruling part guides the way, and can
inform us how it is only the excellence of our own judgments and actions themselves
that can give us worth.
The higher
should rule the lower, but in our lives we find these roles are too often
reversed. The mind should be telling the body how to assist as we grow in
wisdom and in virtue, but instead the body tells the mind how to merely be a
tool for greater power and pleasure. The strings are being pulled from the
wrong direction.
My life
is short, and I must learn to make the right choice, to no longer desire the
lesser things, about how rich or gratified I am in the flesh, but to dedicate
everything to the greater things, about how virtuous and dignified I am in my
thoughts and deeds. If I can turn around my thinking, I can also turn around my
priorities.
Written in 1/2000
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