“Thus
is the world governed for the best if a directness, which rests in the
intelligence of God, puts forth an order of causes that may not swerve. This
order restrains by its own unchangeableness changeable things, which might otherwise
run hither and thither at random.
“Wherefore
in disposing the Universe this limitation directs all for good, though to you
who are not strong enough to comprehend the whole order, all seems confusion
and disorder.
“Nothing
is there that comes to pass for the sake of evil, or due to wicked men, of whom
it has been abundantly shown that they seek the good, but misleading error
turns them from the right course; for never does the true order, which comes
forth from the center of the highest good, turn any man aside from the right
beginning.”
—from
Book 4, Prose 6
Whenever
I find myself burdened by doubt and despair, a moment of calm reflection will
usually reveal that my problems are not with whatever may be happening, but are
rather with my own estimation of their meaning.
My hasty
assumption will be that there is no purpose to things, that occurrences are
pointless or arbitrary, that perhaps there is no God at all, or, even worse, that
He is completely indifferent to my suffering. My wallowing comes from allowing
my feelings to overwhelm me, instead of letting my reason guide me through them.
How much
like the troubled Boethius I actually turn out to be, and how desperately I
need to listen to Lady Philosophy at those times!
What I
describe as chance comes only from my ignorance of causes, for while I may not
grasp the particulars, reason shows me the necessity of a universal design.
What I describe as evil comes only from my ignorance of a plan, for while it
may cause me pain, reason shows me that it is made to be transformed into good.
What is
so variable, and appears so chaotic to me, can only proceed from what is
invariable. A dog might not understand his master’s intentions, but his loyalty
expresses itself in a sort of trust. Could I not, gifted further with mind and
choice, express a similar trust in Providence?
Even
when I face wickedness in others, however selfish or brutal, I need to remember
that vice is only a misguided divergence from the good that is within our human
nature. The desire is always for the good, and though ignorance has clouded
this direction, ignorance calls out to be informed by wisdom.
Lies
demand to be corrected by truth. Hatred waits to be consumed by love.
Everything was made to be reforged and fulfilled, and every weakness provides
the very opportunity to achieve that fulfillment. It is already there for the
taking, if I only choose to accept it.
Will I
freely cooperate with this harmony, or will I stubbornly insist on only playing
my own tune? Providence will continue on her way, and it is for me to decide if
I will make myself happy or miserable in relation to the whole.
I was drawn
to philosophy from very early on, as soon as I could ask all those sorts of
questions about “Why?” and “Why not?” Yet when I thought I might pursue the
study of philosophy as a profession, I found so many of my peers already taking
it for granted that such questions had no real answers.
Perhaps
it had something to do with the intellectual fashion of the age, but I suspect
it also reflected the very same sense of hopelessness and dread that was felt
by Boethius, and can so easily gnaw at us all, in any time or place. I saw little
except skepticism, relativism, and even nihilism, and the grand academic theories
would rarely cross over into the needs of daily practice.
We
walked about, depressed and forlorn, and we dressed for the part so very well. Were
we really searching for the truth, or were we too busy feeling sorry for
ourselves?
I will
never find Providence at the center of things if I have already decided that there
can be no center to begin with. Then I am only letting myself get in the way of
truly being myself.
Written in 11/2015
IMAGE: Providentia Fountain (Donnerbrunnen), Vienna
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