"You know, I just can't understand why I never meet nice guys. I mean, you're a nice guy, right? We've been friends for years, and you've never played games with me. I'm sick of all the shallow shit. Why aren't there more guys like you?"
"Well, I'm sitting right here, and I just made you an amazing cocktail, never to be repeated in the history of mankind, because I have no idea what I put in it."
"Well, duh, but you're just too skinny for me, and a bit weird, you know?"
"Yes. Yes, I do know. No more shallow shit for you."
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