With
respect to that which happens conformably to Nature, we ought to blame neither
gods, for they do nothing wrong either voluntarily or involuntarily, nor men,
for they do nothing wrong except involuntarily.
Consequently
we should blame nobody.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 12.12 (tr
Long)
Most of
my resentment will follow from blame, and so where I can overcome my sense of
blame, I can better master my resentment.
Whenever
something has happened, it helps me to know how and why it happened, but it
does not help me to find fault, or dwell upon what is wrong. It seems easy to accuse, but it only drains
the life from me; it seems harder to understand, but it restores the life in
me.
Providence
gets its right, because it knows what’s best. People can get it wrong, but only
because they don’t know any better. Pointing my finger at God or at my neighbor
is misguided and fruitless, since I fail to see that their actions could not
have come to pass in any other way. God
does not do any harm, and my neighbor did not mean any harm.
Put
another way, if some event takes place, however it may first appear to me, I
can be certain that it exists for the sake of what is good, however
mysteriously, and invariably offers me the opportunity to go good.
If I see
another person act poorly, I can also be certain that he only did so falsely thinking it was good, and therefore it gives me the opportunity to respond with compassion
instead of condemnation.
“But he could have known better!” Yes, perhaps
he could, and none of this negates the principle of personal responsibility.
But to cast blame only compounds the error.
Ignorance
was the condition that misled him, and so ignorance is what needs first to be
cured. Teach him, correct him, and improve him where you can, and teach
yourself, correct yourself, and improve yourself where you cannot.
I don’t
know where the phrase came from, but at some point it got stuck in my head:
Blame no one. Expect nothing. Do
something.
Pointing
the finger only distracts me from my own responsibility. Demanding an outcome
only reveals my own vanity. Acting with an informed conscience is what makes it
better.
Written in 8/2009
I have control over no one's actions or response but that of my own. It is this belief that blame holds no merit in bettering myself, but understanding, the harder thing to do, does. Eager most people are in finding blame or repaying an injury, but it is in forgiving or learning that most postpone, indefinitely if possible.
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