To
the immortal gods and us give joy.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 7 (tr
Long)
Surely we all know that it is our
nature to be happy, and that we have no greater purpose than that. The
difficulty, of course, is coming to understand what that may actually mean, and
how best to achieve this end. Given the urgency of the task, we seem to often
make ourselves quite miserable in the pursuit of happiness. We fill ourselves
with anger, recrimination, frustration, and anxiety instead. With results like
that, is there a chance we’re on the wrong path?
I have often succumbed to that sort
of stubborn dissatisfaction, where I would rather be at war than at peace,
where I would rather be vindicated than content. In hindsight, all I realize
is that I have blinded myself to taking responsibility for myself. It somehow
seems easier to lash out at everyone and everything outside of me, instead of
improving what is inside of me.
My own last great obstacle to
embracing happiness is letting go of resentment. I do not need to blame the
world, and I don’t even need to blame myself anymore, because I can change my
thinking and living right here and now.
In the middle of all the weeping and
gnashing of teeth, I have overlooked joy. How simple joy really is, but how
difficult I can make it for myself. I may foolishly prefer to be bloated with
the arrogance of being somehow proven right, and the world proven wrong,
instead of being completely content with the humility of just striving to be
good.
For me, the recovery of joy is a
part of what I like to call the Stoic Turn, a reordering of priorities. Life
should be measured by what I do, not by what happens to me. I should seek to
rule myself, not to rule others. My happiness ought to exist in harmony with
the whole of Nature, not in conflict with the world. It means I can be defined
by love instead of hate, acceptance instead of anger, and happiness instead of
sadness.
It may seem so hopeless when I see
how cynical people can become, the presence of the “life sucks and then you
die” mentality. Yes, unpleasant things will happen, and yes, I will most
certainly die, but that is neither here nor there. If I succumb to that sort of
thinking, I am ignoring the most important part of it all, about how I can
choose to live with and through such circumstances. Why should I focus on what
is outside of my power, when I can dedicate myself completely to what is within
my power?
Through it all, I remain convinced
that we are all made, like the Divine, to find rest in joy. I am the only one
who can stop me from doing so.
Written in 12/2007
IMAGE: Abraham Janssens, An Allegory of Joy and Melancholy (c. 1623)
No comments:
Post a Comment