Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.30

Direct your attention to what is said.

Let your understanding enter into the things that are done, and the things that do them.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 7 (tr Long)

I will sometimes think about commonly used phrases, the ones we employ all of the time but hardly give a second thought to. There, that was just one of them!

One that would often annoy me was the expression “It is what it is.” I had always assumed this as just a tautology, a statement of the obvious, but upon reflection I saw that in practice it wasn’t always so obvious at all. We don’t always look simply at what is, of course. We add all sorts of imaginings, preferences, and prejudices of our own. Coming to accept the way it is, in and of itself, is not always that easy.

Another one of my favorite expressions has been “After all has been said and done.” Again, at first it doesn’t seem to say much at all, yet it adds the sense that something is understood ultimately, in totality, at the end of things. It asks us to consider it within the whole, balancing all of the aspects.

It may seem to be a given that I should look at something for what it is, and think of it within the context of the bigger picture, but the fact is that I fail to do this all of the time. I often choose to see only what I wish to see, or zoom in only on a small part that seems the most enticing or engaging at the moment. I need to focus the clarity of my perception, and broaden the scope of my thinking.

So when Marcus Aurelius reminds us to listen to what people say, and to examine what happens around us, this isn’t as immediately evident as I might think.

Often, the words of others will hurt me deeply. Often, the deeds of others will bring me down, and make my place seem worthless. Through it all, I am attending more to my own assumptions, and less to what has actually been said and done.

What was actually said? What did it really mean? How was it truly intended?

What was actually done? Who really did it? Why was it truly done?

If I can start answering those questions for themselves, humbly and sincerely, I will begin to see that so much of what is desirable or frightening, so much of what I get wrapped up in, is not really about what was said, or what happened. It is about my estimation of what was said, or of what happened.

So to change my worries, I need only change my estimation. It remains what it is, even as I can modify my own sense of what is good and bad in what is. It can be quite a liberating moment when I can distinguish between what comes to me, and what I can make of what comes to me.

Pay attention! The advice is not wasted.

Written in 11/2007