One
thing only troubles me, lest I should do something that the constitution of man
does not allow, or in the way which it does not allow, or what it does not
allow now.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 7 (tr
Long)
It is so easy to become distracted
by all sorts of competing expectations, winding this way and that, pulling me
in one direction and then another. Everyone seems to have a different set of
suggestions about what life should really be about. Go ahead, just have fun.
Work hard, so you can make some money. Influence other people, and you can have
them eating out of your hand. It can seem a bit confusing.
I may indeed prefer pleasure to
pain, wealth to poverty, or strength to weakness. Yet I need to remind myself
that none of these things, in and of themselves, really mean anything at all.
They are just varying circumstances, changes in the landscape. Whatever I may
have to work with, or wherever I find myself placed, I should seek to live well
only by the measure of my human nature. Nothing else is necessary, so I need
concern myself with nothing else.
Am I doing the right thing, in the
right way, and at the right time? The standard I require is to follow
virtue, and avoid vice, in all my thoughts and deeds. The rest is merely an
accompaniment, because man is made for action that proceeds from understanding
what is true, loving what is good, and seeking what is beautiful. I can know
this by pulling away all the externals, and looking only at what it means to be
human.
Ever since I have been a child, I
have loved walks in the woods, the deeper and darker the better. I will
sometimes have to pace myself, as I am so eager to see what will be around the
next bend or over the next rise.
It is quite easy to get lost,
however, and I need to keep track of where I am. Sometimes the path seems to
disappear, and I may have to retrace my steps to find it again. Sometimes the
path will split, and I will have to make a choice. Finding my way means
knowing where I came from, being aware of the landmarks around me, and staying
focused on where I am going.
There’s a good reason we will also
speak of a path in life, as an expression of a sense of direction and purpose. We
may stray to the left or to the right, become distracted and confused by
whatever surrounds us, and maybe we even find ourselves going backwards or
walking in circles. Sticking to the path means not being discouraged by any of
the upsets.
I notice how many of things I worry
about the most are hardly of any worry at all. I will fret about what may or
may not happen to me, or what other people may or may not do, or even what they
may or may not be thinking, when I should commit myself only to the dignity of
my own actions.
This is, after all, the only thing I
can control, and there is hardly any use in worrying about what is beyond my
control.
Written in 10/2007
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