Let
it make no difference to you whether you are cold or warm, if you are doing your
duty.
And
whether you are drowsy or satisfied with sleep. And whether ill-spoken of or
praised. And whether dying or doing something else.
For
it is one of the acts of life, this act by which we die. It is sufficient then
in this act also to do well what we have in hand.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 6 (tr
Long)
I often think that our sense of what
we consider admirable in others is quite disordered. We praise those who seek
first and foremost to rule their circumstances, and we say that they are
strong, determined, or brave. At the same time, we have little respect for
those who seek first and foremost to rule only themselves, and we say that they
are weak, insecure, or timid.
Yet those in the first group are
making their lives rise or fall with what is outside of them, and through what
is ultimately beyond their power, while those in the second group concentrate
on what is within them, and what is rightly under their power. We venerate
those who don’t mind their own business of living well, and we dismiss those
who do.
By all means, give me worldly
achievements and success, but I am a fool if I think these are in any way mine
at all, and I am mistaken if I think I am stronger by being enslaved to my
circumstances. It is also not necessarily any easier to live life with more
external trappings than it is to live with fewer, as anyone who has suffered
deeply in prosperity can tell you.
The critical point in life, where
the rubber meets the road, is whether or not I will act with conscience and
conviction, whatever may happen to come along. I shouldn’t strive to live with
more and more, but I should strive to live better and better. Getting more
conveniences is a passive reliance, while doing more out of duty is an active
commitment.
Being just, kind, or honest doesn’t
depend on whether I am warm or cold, rested or tired, esteemed or despised. It
doesn’t even depend on whether I am busy living or dying, because the man who
lives well will also die well.
I used to roll my eyes when I heard
that famous phrase from Lakota Chief Low Dog, “This is a good day to die.” I
now appreciate it much more, because I have seen extremes of plenty and of
want, of pleasure and of pain, of success and of disappointment, and I
recognize that neither one is any better than the other. So too, neither living
nor dying are any better. I must only do right with what I have in hand.
Written in 9/2006
IMAGE: Chief Low Dog, c. 1881.
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