Often
think of the rapidity with which things pass by and disappear, both the things
that are and the things that are produced. For substance is
like a river in a continual flow, and the activities of things are in constant
change, and the causes work in infinite varieties, and there is hardly
anything that stands still.
And
consider this that is near to you, this boundless abyss of the past and of the
future in which all things disappear.
How
then is he not a fool who is puffed up with such things, or plagued about them,
and makes himself miserable? For they vex him only for a time, and a short
time.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 5 (tr
Long)
I once grew impatient and frustrated
with this sort of passage, complaining that it all seemed to be about making
myself feel insignificant, and ignoring my happiness. I found myself answering
my own objection, since there was no one else around to listen. Perhaps it is actually
about making my apparent problems seem insignificant, so that I can then pay
proper attention to my happiness.
We say it far more often than we
mean it, or even understand it, but things only make sense from the right
perspective. As circumstances become larger or smaller in my estimation, they
become more or less important in the order of my priorities. It can, therefore,
be of great help to measure with the proper scale. Things that seemed so
overwhelming can suddenly become a trifle, and what I had overlooked can
suddenly become quite relevant.
When I have felt physical pain from
something like a toothache, for example, the expectation that it will pass can
help make it bearable. The suffering may feel intense, but it grows smaller
within the larger context of time.
I can do much the same with the
obnoxious neighbor, the demanding boss, or the thoughtless friend. How
meaningful is this, after all, in the picture of the whole? Knowing it to be
only a tiny bit, however annoying, in the fullness of life, is it worth all the
attention, and thereby making it far more important than it really is?
It can even work with the situations
that seem far more imposing. I remember the moment when I realized it was quite
likely I would suffer from the Black Dog for the rest of my life. I had now
been waking up most every morning for fifteen years, filled with those
crippling feelings, and I was slowly becoming more adept at managing them.
Look, I’ve done this for years now.
What are a few years more? What is any of this really in the big picture? There
is the infinite in every direction, the flow of constant change, and here I am,
fretting about how some little demons in my soul, or chemicals in my head, are
messing around with my mood.
Yes, it hurts. Now look at
everything else that is good, beautiful, and pleasant in this wide world, in
the whole pattern of Providence, whether far away or right outside my window.
It still hurts, but it puts the hurt in context. I will only neglect my own
happiness when I attend more to inferior things, and thereby attend less to
superior things.
Some may think this nonsensical, but
speaking only for myself, I have found there is no better anti-depressant than
putting things into perspective. It isn’t that I’m unimportant, but rather that
the things I worry so much about are really unimportant. Now I can get on with
the business of living for what matters. I can begin to find joy in what I do,
not misery in relying on what may be done to me.
Ah, Casablanca, your script seems to produce more Stoic gems every time
I look:
I'm
no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of
three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.
Someday you'll understand that.
And that, I suggest, is why Rick can
be completely content with himself at the end of the film, while he was
completely lost at the beginning.
Written in 7/2006
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