I
am unhappy, because this has happened to me.
Not
so, but I am happy, though this has happened to me, because I continue free
from pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearing the
future.
For
such a thing as this might have happened to every man, but
every man would not have continued free from pain on such an
occasion. Why then is that rather a misfortune than this a good
fortune? And do you in all cases call that a man's misfortune,
which is not a deviation from man's nature? And does a thing
seem to you to be a deviation from man's nature, when it is not contrary
to the will of man's nature?
Well
you know the will of Nature. Will then what has happened
prevent you from being just, magnanimous, temperate, prudent,
secure against inconsiderate opinions and falsehood? Will it
prevent you from having modesty, freedom, and everything else, by
the presence of which man's nature obtains all that is its own?
Remember
too, on every occasion that leads you to vexation, to apply
this principle: not that this is a misfortune, but that to bear
it nobly is good fortune.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4 (tr
Long)
Even the
most initial stages of making the Stoic turn can have profound effects. I would
find myself concerned about completely different things than I had been before,
and I would find myself stared at with confusion, and sometimes even disgust,
by those who were still more tightly bound to circumstances. I began to see
that a Stoic transformation could never be merely cosmetic. Either I am
becoming a completely different sort of person, or it is of no use to me at
all.
We have
been told for so long how happiness or misery depend upon what happens, that we
can hardly imagine it any other way. This passage summarizes the radical
alternative. It isn’t what happens, but whether we bear what happens with
nobility. It will only hurt me as much as I permit it to hurt me.
This
claim is often met with jeers of derision. Surely the loss of property, or
honor, or the health of the body is painful? Doesn’t it hurt to be hungry,
sick, or rejected? Yes, such states will bring with them various feelings of
pain, sometimes quite severe. The question is what I will make of it, whatever
the feeling, whatever the fortune. I will only be able to understand this if I
begin with the premise that a person is, by his very nature, a creature of
thought, choice, and action, and cannot at all be hurt by what is outside of
him.
Define a
man by his circumstances, and he will suffer from pain quite often. Define a
man by his character, and he does not need to suffer any pain within himself at
all. Because he has rebuilt what he values, he can no longer consider the
presence or absence of fortune as itself a gain or a loss.
What we
usually think of as “good” or “bad” fortune can, and will, happen to anyone,
and that is why fortune is not the distinguishing mark of someone who is good
or bad, happy or unhappy. Give me this, or take away that, and I can be
completely myself, with no obstacle or hindrance.
This
needn’t be seen as some mysterious, mystical state. Observe that all the things
that make my life worth living can be done in any state of fortune. Look only
to all the noble actions, those at our human core, and how they can always
remain unhindered.
I can be
generous, practice self-control and conscience, and not have to worry about
what others may think, or how much they may deceive. I can be humble, content
with myself, and totally free to be my own master. No situation can halt me
from being virtuous within myself.
I can be
complete through myself at any given instant. Fulfillment does not proceed from
events, but can subsist through any events.
Written in 2/2006
Ah, half measures!
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