Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.33

Love the art, poor as it may be, that you have learned, and be content with it; and pass through the rest of life like one who has entrusted to the gods with his whole soul all that he has, making yourself neither the tyrant nor the slave of any man.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4 (tr Long)

I have never had any great skills, and only a very few passing competencies. I had always felt the calling to be teacher, but my eccentric method was never in line with the fashions of the age. I would always, as they say, push the envelope, like some crazed test pilot, in the hopes that this might jar people out of their assumptions. I never wanted people to think like me, but to think for themselves. This novel concept usually does not go over very well.

Though most everyone had given me a list of things I needed to achieve in this life, it was never in me to sell myself out. That left me only one possible goal: Let me do my best to improve myself, regardless of what anyone else may think.

This is, after all, the only kind of art in life that will really make any difference. It can be a lonely art, a neglected art, an art that will not get me any respect from others, but I have learned it is the only one that I need.

What strengths has my aptitude given me? What opportunities has Fortune tossed my way? Whatever they might be, however humble, Providence has provided them for me to use as best I can. It will not matter if I am one of the big men, or one of the small men who clean up the trash left behind by the big men.

Character and integrity don’t admit of status or bragging rights. Put a big fancy hat on the head of a buffoon, and you still have a buffoon, just slightly taller. Put a big fancy hat on the head of a thoughtful man, and he is rightly annoyed that his head now feels too hot.

The way Marcus Aurelius expresses this truth sums it up very nicely for me. I need nothing beyond my own actions, so there is no reason to seek contentment elsewhere. I can accept whatever circumstances may bring, because I trust in the order of Nature. I should give myself completely only to this one task, of serving the true and the right.

I am called to use whatever skill I have to never be the tyrant, to never demand another to be at my pleasure, and to never be the slave, to never be at the pleasure of another. Consider how beautiful a world we would all live in if we chose to take that advice to heart. Living, and letting others live, is only so seemingly impossible when we habitually impose our own preferences upon others, or when we allow other to impose their preferences upon us.

If I choose not to be the bully, will this keep someone else from bullying me? It doesn’t do that at all. Because he loves acquiring power over external things, at the expense of his own soul, the tyrant can often take from me whatever he wants. It is what he doesn’t want, and what he can never take away from me, that will keep me from being a slave. The Universe does not always give us economic or political justice, as much as we may want it to, but it always gives us the chance for moral justice.

Can I build business empires, media conglomerates, or political alliances to push people around and feel important? There may be great art in me, but it is then being used for all the wrong things. This will never make me content. I must offer fully and gladly of whatever I may have, and never demand anything more.

Written in 11/2005