Aiming
then at these high matters, you must remember that to attain them requires more
than ordinary effort; you will have to give up some things
entirely, and put off others for the moment. And if you would have these
also—office and wealth—it may be that you will fail to get them, just because
your desire is set on the former, and you will certainly fail to attain those
things which alone bring freedom and happiness.
Make
it your study then to confront every harsh impression with the words, ‘ You are
but an impression, and not at all what you seem to be’.
Then
test it by those rules that you possess; and first by this—the chief test of
all—‘Is it concerned with what is in our power or with what is not in our
power?’ And if it is concerned with what is not in our power, be ready
with the answer that it is nothing to you.
—Epictetus,
The Handbook, Chapter 1 (trans Matheson}
If
anyone is to begin thinking and living like a Stoic, he will find that he must
completely alter the order of priorities he may have been used to. I have
always called this the Stoic Turn. This can be very difficult, not because of
any complexity in Stoic thought itself, but because we will be struggling
against our existing habits, and everything most people in the world are
telling us to value.
As soon
as I start thinking that the root of my happiness does not come from those
things outside of me, the things outside of my power, but from what is within
me, the things completely under my power, I will meet resistance. I may have
been told and taken for granted that my career, wealth, influence, popularity,
and worldly security were what make me happy. If I now begin to realize that
all of these things may come and go, but that my thoughts, choices, and actions
are what make me happy, I won’t be able to make that change overnight or
without effort.
Yet the
rewards are well worth the effort. I need to do nothing else than to alter my
perception of values, basing my dignity entirely upon the merit of my
character, and I can begin to realize the greatest freedom.
I can confront
pain, loss, frustration, sadness, or all the sorts of burdens the world seems
to throw at me, and simply ask myself: what is this really to me? If it is
something I can change, I need not worry, because I can simply change it. If it
is something I can’t change, I need not worry, because it does not concern what
is truly my own. I can then take whatever is given, pleasant or unpleasant, and
I can use it to improve myself.
I will
feel afraid to lose all those trappings I used to care about, but I must simply
remember: they were never important in the way that I thought they were
important. If I can choose to no longer desire them as an end, I will not to worry
whether I have them or not, and I can be content with putting them aside. I can
reconsider the original impression.
No lover
is distraught when he does not have the affections of someone with whom he
isn’t enamored. A man who does not want to be a doctor will not be saddened
that he didn’t get into medical school. So if I am not in love with externals,
I will not mourn them. There will be a time of adjustment, as with any change
of perspective, position, priority, but the benefits are priceless.
Written in 4/2001
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