And yet surely one will not
expect men to be less moral than women, nor less capable of disciplining their
desires, thereby revealing the stronger in judgment inferior to the weaker, the
rulers to the ruled.
In fact, it behooves men to be
much better if they expect to be superior to women, for surely if they appear
to be less self-controlled they will also be baser characters.
What need is there to say that it
is an act of licentiousness and nothing less for a master to have relations
with a slave? Everyone knows that.
Given
what Musonius has previously said about the relationship between men and women,
I suspect his tongue is firmly planted in his cheek. He is calling out all of
those who claim to be superior, and yet they somehow end up being quite
inferior.
I know
of no man who would be happy to have his wife taken by another man. Yet I know of
many men who would gladly take another man’s wife.
Now there’s
always the one who may be perversely titillated by sharing her with others on
his own terms, but he would never permit it without his express approval. If it
was beyond his control, he would explode in rage.
As I get
to being middle aged, I’m a little taken aback by the odd private proposals my
wife and I have started receiving, sometimes from the most respectable of
folks.
Do they
not realize that they are no longer dealing in affection, or even in lust, but only
in power?
It took
me many years to recognize it, but sex, on all sides, is not always about love,
or even just about pleasure. It sadly becomes a means for dominance, and the
satisfaction that comes from having mastery over another.
This is
true for women just as much as it is true for men. You will laugh your head off
over this, but I spent years being told by the lost love of my life how I was
so deeply special, and that I needed to wait to consummate our relationship. I
thought I was being noble and virtuous, but I was just being led by the nose.
She
would jump in the sack with other men, but then she would sweetly tell me that
they didn’t matter at all, that it was all a terrible mistake, and that she was
just letting off steam. When she and I were finally together, she insisted, the
earth would shake.
Now have
you ever heard a bigger load of crap, or ever seen a bigger loser than me? Yet
I believed every word of it, since it was all about power. She had the knack,
and I was the sucker.
Written in 12/1999
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