The Death of Marcus Aurelius

The Death of Marcus Aurelius

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Seneca, On Peace of Mind 6.3


Next we must form an estimate of the matter that we mean to deal with, and compare our strength with the deed we are about to attempt: for the bearer ought always to be more powerful than his load.

Indeed, loads that are too heavy for their bearer must of necessity crush him. Some affairs also are not so important in themselves as they are prolific and lead to much more business, for which employments, as they involve us in new and various forms of work, ought to be refused.

Neither should you engage in anything from which you are not free to retreat: apply yourself to something that you can finish, or at any rate can hope to finish. You had better not meddle with those operations that grow in importance, while they are being transacted, and that will not stop where you intended them to stop.

“Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?” Yes, we all know that moment.

That thought may well come with a sense of surprise, helplessness, and regret. It would have been better if I had not engaged at all, than struggling to extricate myself now that I am committed to an impossible task.

Again, the temptation is to run away, while the wisdom should be to engage with restraint from the beginning. I have not made a mistake in taking a bite, though I have made a mistake in biting off more than I could chew. As the sign says at my favorite Chinese buffet, “Take what you want, but eat what you take.”

I should know my own limits first; then I should also know the scope of what I am trying to achieve. These two levels of awareness go together like a hand in a glove.

Or, to put it in another way, few things are more annoying than a shoe that is too small, or a shoe that is too large. Sure, it might look good at the shop, while the salesman is working me up for his commission, but walk in it for a few miles, and the pain will teach me quite the lesson about the difference between appearance and reality.

There is no longer any question in my mind that I am made to love without condition, as much as my selfishness may resist that calling, complete with all the stubborn kicking and screaming. The trick is in learning how to love, in deciding where I can do my best, in measuring what I am able to do, in knowing when to hang on, and when to let go.

If you are a bigwig, like Seneca or Serenus, born to the purple, as they say, I can’t help you with that part of the dilemma. But I suspect that such a difference in degree makes no real difference in kind. We will all go through exactly the same challenges, though we will do so in our own ways, and in our own time. The breadth of it all does not alter the depth of it all.

It is quite humbling to learn that I am not the Master of the Universe; it is also deeply fulfilling and liberating. The world was not made for me, but I was made as one piece the world. How might I give, instead of asking to receive? How might I serve, as opposed to demanding to be served? Let me discern the weight I am able to carry.

Baby steps. Little bits. Tiny bites. One day at a time. Do what you can, and ask for no more. I used to laugh at such silly claims, and then I finally started growing up. I became bigger as I became smaller.

He must increase, as I must decrease.

I knew there must be some serendipity, perhaps even Providence, in my parents naming me after St. John the Baptist.

The greatest dreams mean absolutely nothing without a sincere sense of proportion. Run with life, but don’t let life run away with you.

Written in 8/2011

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