—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 8 (tr
Long)
When I look
within myself, I shamefully recognize that I have far too often failed at sound
thinking, and so I have accordingly also failed at good living. These two must
go together, for without clarity of understanding there can be no right purpose
in action.
My thinking
doesn’t have to involve rocket science, or profound metaphysics, or proceed
from any sort of fancy education. It has nothing to do with how smart or gifted
I am, but with how thoughtful and careful I am. It’s something like the
difference between being intelligent, which I could take or leave, and being
considerate, which I can’t live without.
I remain
convinced there are really just two things any of us need to have a firm grasp
on in order to be happy, and they are hardly concerned with secrets revealed
only to the privileged and the elect. First, what is my nature as a human
being? Second, what must I be doing in order to fulfill that nature?
Everything,
absolutely everything from the most life-changing decisions to the smallest
gesture or comment, hinges on how we are going to answer these questions. If my
vision is clouded, or my decisions are lazy and careless, I’m going to make
quite the mess of it. Trust me, I speak from personal experience.
Who am I? I am
a creature of many aspects, one that grows, eats, sleeps, moves, senses, has
desires and instincts, and feels pleasure and pain. But most of all, behind all
of that, I am a creature capable of knowledge, reflection, and choice. It is
the ruling part that gives meaning to the parts that are ruled.
How should I
live? To act according to that nature, I must know that my own actions should
encourage my own excellence, and the excellence of others, and the
excellence of all things, all in their own way. As a being of intellect it is
only my wisdom that will make it possible for me to be brave, temperate, and
just.
If I am made to
know the truth and love the good, let me commit to that. All the rest is quite
secondary. I need only ask myself what is within my power to give, and not try
to control what I may or may not receive.
Yet in the face
of this call to clarity, which is really rather simple and asks for no
trimmings or accessories, I can become quite mentally myopic. I choose to look
no further than my own passion, and I allow my judgment to surrender to selfish
longing. I become a sort of philosophical and moral Alfred E. Neuman: “What, me
worry?”
Lazy looking,
sloppy thinking, and poor choices come not from stupidity, however, but from
thoughtlessness. I have always seen a difference between these two. I should
never look down on someone who can’t do something, but I should be quite wary
of someone who won’t do something.
Written in 4/2008
No comments:
Post a Comment