Short
lived are both the praiser and the praised, and the rememberer and the
remembered.
And
all this in a nook of this part of the world; and not even here do all agree,
no, not any one with himself, and the whole earth too is a point.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 8 (tr
Long)
Just as I can understand
the passing nature of the body, how weak and vulnerable it really is, I can
likewise consider all the things in my life that I thought were great, but were
really quite small.
I mustn’t look
at this as a discouragement, or as some terrible statement of despair, but
rather as a reminder to see everything in its proper perspective, to cling to
what is truly significant, and to let go of the things that are actually insignificant.
To learn what
has nothing stable within it, can in turn lead me to embracing what is the
source of all that is stable.
I can look at
honor, at being praised and revered, and I can see that there is nothing
reliable about it, because it does not come from me. It will come and go with
the whims of fashion, the sentiments of others, and the winds of change.
I can look at
memory, at the promise of living on forever because people will recall my
greatness, and I can see that there is nothing reliable about it, because it
has nothing to do with what I may have done. What others remember, or think
they remember, is in their own estimation, not in the merit of my actions. And
their estimation will soon pass, just as mine will.
Through it all,
I look at how tiny and variable every aspect of my supposed world really is,
within the context of the whole of existence.
Do I have many
friends? Then I also assure you I will have many enemies. Am I greatly loved?
Then I also assure you I will be greatly hated.
And when it’s
all over, after all has been said and done, only one thing can remain for me.
What was within my power, while I was here, regardless of who may or may not
have noticed it, or praised it, or despised it, or ignored it? The virtue of
what I thought, and the virtue of what I did: that was mine.
And it was
never pointless at all, because by being what I was made to be, I did my
specific part in the order of what is Universal. No one needs to glorify it,
and no one needs to memorialize it; it was good in itself, and for nothing
else.
I am hardly
nothing, since I am a part of everything, but it is the greatest vanity to make
of myself everything. Once I see myself within the whole, and never in conflict
with anyone or anything, my need to glorify myself can cease. I am not
everything, but in service to everything.
Written in 3/2008
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