Let
us try to persuade them, and even act even against their will, when the
principles of justice lead that way.
If,
however, any man by using force stands in your way, betake yourself to
contentment and tranquility, and at the same time employ the hindrance towards
the exercise of some other virtue.
And
remember that your attempt was with a reservation, that you did not desire to
do impossibilities. What then did you desire? Some such effort as this. But you
attained your object, if the things to which you were moved are accomplished.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 6 (tr
Long)
When I see others doing wrong, I
need to ask myself what I should be doing in response. Now I notice many people
simply looking the other way, assuming that conscience has nothing to do with
their own profit. I would then, of course, become a wrongdoer myself, for the worth
of our actions is both in what we do, and in what we leave undone.
Should I offer friendship and an
appeal to reason, in an attempt to convince them of what is truly good? Yes, if
my intent is properly sincere, and if I am informed by a sense of what is just.
This is within my power.
Should I stand against them, even
when they object or resist? Yes, if by doing so I can still make right of
something that is wrong, and I aim at the benefit of all, not just of some.
This is also within my power.
But what if I am opposed by a
resistance that hinders me from correcting an error, or fixing what has been
broken? This is no longer within my power. By stubbornly fighting back against
what I cannot overcome, I will have failed to make the situation any better,
and I will have only made myself worse by meeting an aggression with even more
aggression.
When the path ahead is blocked, and
I cannot pass through, I can, however, still pass around. If I am denied the
chance to do what is right in one way, that very obstacle can offer me an
opportunity to do right in another. If another turns away from me, I can still
practice patience. If I am denied a fair hearing, I can still be understanding.
If another meets me with hatred, I can still meet him with love.
I can continue to practice virtue in
a new manner, though in a way that was different than what I may have
originally intended. I must remember that each and every circumstance, however
limiting it may at first appear, always provides a chance to act with integrity,
compassion, and justice.
How often have we all seen people
who find themselves in disagreement or conflict, and when an appeal to common
sense is ignored, and when all other reasonable options for resolution have
failed, they nevertheless still insist on fighting it out? That is then no
longer a desire for finding a shared good, but simply the pursuit of
destruction.
I once knew a fellow who felt that
his own thoughtless omission, however unintended, had cost me something very
dear to me. He asked me what he could do to make it right, but I was being
cocky and foolish, and I turned him away. He then tried to fix the problem as
best he could on his own, even as I remained headstrong, and he only desisted
when I rudely told him to mind his own business.
Some time later, I ran across a
wonderful, and completely anonymous, favor that had been done for me. I was
deeply moved, but I could not figure out how it had come my way. As it turned
out, it was a kindness given me by the very man I had so harshly cast aside. He
had never said a word about it, and I only learned of it through others.
When I overcame my shame, I
sheepishly approached him. “Why?” I asked.
“You wouldn’t let me tip the scales
back how I wanted to, so I found something else. You locked your door, but you
left your window open. I hope you’re not angry.”
I was hardly angry anymore. I
learned something there that has stuck with me for years. If I didn’t obviously
know any better, I’d swear he had been teaching me a loving lesson.
Written in 7/2007
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