When a father tries. . .

A moment I will always remember. My son was 12 years old.

"Dad, didn't you you say something about liking Stoicism?"

"Yup."

"I looked it up. It sounds interesting."

At this point, a poor and pathetic father scrambles to tell his son whatever he can. He does his best to explain about living with Nature, about what is within our power and what is outside of our power, about the value of virtue over circumstances, about being a social animal instead of a selfish animal, about finding a way of freedom within the beauty of Providence, about how love and cooperation always defeat hate and conflict.

The overwhelmed boy looks at me with complete confusion.

"Yeah, I knew that." He rolls his eyes. "Isn't that what you've been nagging me about for years?"

I realize, of course, that I have pushed the envelope too far, as I too often do.

"No," he finally says. "I get it. It just didn't make sense from what I read."

What had he read? Online forums about Stoicism.

"People fight about everything. They insult each other. They make fun of each other. They say everyone is wrong. It feels as bad as going to Church."

I tune down my extreme enthusiasm, and suggest that any aspect of life has people who somehow manage to abuse it.

I stop talking at that point. The darn kid is bright, and he doesn't need platitudes.

I take a card my parents has sent him recently, a card with an owl on it, and I write three phrases on it. I then put the card next to his bed that night when he goes to sleep. I suggest he look at those three phrases to give him something to think about.

The three phrases? I didn't think them through carefully. I was working on instinct.

 A better man cannot be hurt by a worse man.

Do the things external that fall upon you distract you? Give yourself time to learn something new and good, and cease to be whirled around. 

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 

That was the best I could do. I always hoped something good might come from it. I hoped that Socrates, Marcus Aurelius, and Jesus wouldn't set him too far back.

Written in 6/2016