. . . It is dangerous too to lapse into
foul language; when anything of the kind occurs, rebuke the offender, if the
occasion allow, and if not, make it plain to him by your silence, or a blush or
a frown, that you are angry at his words.
—Epictetus,
The Handbook, Chapter 33 (tr
Matheson)
Years
ago, I would have rolled my eyes at this advice. I would have been concerned
about how a love of formality is simply the appearance of dignity, and really
has little do with true character. I am far more open now to what Epictetus
says, not because age has made me any wiser, but because experience has taught
me how expression that is vulgar, dismissive, or degrading is not only hurtful
to others, but reflects a baseness in my own soul.
I am
hardly as attuned to technology and social media as are my children, but I have
noticed how online communication combines instant efficiency with a certain
personal distance. This seems to be a breeding ground for expression that can
be both careless and malicious. Though thoughtless speech has surely been with
us as long as we have had language, it now seems to bit easier to engage in.
Arguments give way to insults, reason to passion, and we can all do it from the
comfort of a personal bubble. If we
feel offended, we offend right back, and the more base the language the better.
I see
the chats that accompany online games, and they would a make a sailor blush. I
read conservative news, filled with slurs and the insistence that liberals
suffer from a mental illness, and I read liberal news filled with different
slurs and the insistence that conservatives are all moral monsters. The
question of truth doesn’t seem to enter the picture, because we’re so busy
shouting about our indignation and putting others down.
The
problem with vulgarity, I think, is not simply that it is saucy or crude, but
that it is a slap in the face to the dignity of any person. Reducing someone or
something to those two most common forms of foulness, sex and defecation,
really does nothing more than consider man as just an animal.
One might also add the defamation of the Divine. If I am humble enough to believe in what is greater than me, I should never take such an idea, and such words, lightly. If I should choose to make myself the center of all things, then I hardly need to make light of something others happen to respect.
One might also add the defamation of the Divine. If I am humble enough to believe in what is greater than me, I should never take such an idea, and such words, lightly. If I should choose to make myself the center of all things, then I hardly need to make light of something others happen to respect.
Now I
can become all indignant and preachy about such things, but I find it best to
just refuse to speak as others do, and to move on to something better. I’m the
first too appreciate that extraordinary language is sometimes suited for
extraordinary circumstances, but I find it too easy to make vulgarity all too
ordinary. In doing so, I’m showing others that I have no respect for them,
while also revealing how deeply I have no respect for myself.
Written in 5/2012
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