Of confession of our infirmity and of the miseries of this life
I will acknowledge my sin unto You; I will confess to You,
Lord, my infirmity. It is often a small thing which casts me
down and makes me sad. I resolve that I will act bravely, but
when a little temptation comes, immediately I am in a great
strait. Wonderfully small sometimes is the matter whence a
grievous temptation comes, and while I imagine myself safe for
a little space; when I am not considering, I find myself often
almost overcome by a little puff of wind.
2. Behold, therefore, O Lord, my humility and my frailty, which
is altogether known to You. Be merciful unto me, and draw me
out of the mire that I sink not, lest I ever remain cast down.
This is what frequently throws me backward and confounds me
before You, that I am so liable to fall, so weak to resist my
passions. And though their assault is not altogether according
to my will, it is violent and grievous, and it altogether
wearies me to live thus daily in conflict. Herein is my
infirmity made known to me, that hateful fancies always rush in
far more easily than they depart.
3. Oh that You, most mighty God of Israel, Lover of all faithful
souls, would look upon the labor and sorrow of Your servant,
and give him help in all things whereunto he strives.
Strengthen me with heavenly fortitude, lest the old man, this
miserable flesh, not being yet fully subdued to the spirit,
prevail to rule over me; against which I ought to strive so long
as I remain in this most miserable life. Oh what a life is this,
where tribulations and miseries cease not, where all things are
full of snares and of enemies, for when one tribulation or
temptation goes, another comes, yea, while the former conflict
is yet raging others come more in number and unexpected.
4. And how can the life of man be loved, seeing that it has so
many bitter things, that it is subjected to so many calamities
and miseries? How can it be even called life, when it produces
so many deaths and plagues? The world is often reproached
because it is deceitful and vain, yet notwithstanding it is not
easily given up, because the lusts of the flesh have too much
rule over it. Some draw us to love, some to hate. The lust of
the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, these
draw to love of the world; but the punishments and miseries which
righteously follow these things, bring forth hatred of the world
and weariness.
5. But, alas! an evil desire conquers a mind given to the
world, and thinks it happiness to be under the nettles
because it savors not nor perceives the sweetness of God nor
the inward gracefulness of virtue. But they who perfectly
despise the world and strive to live unto God in holy discipline,
these are not ignorant of the divine sweetness promised to all
who truly deny themselves and see clearly how grievously the
world errs, and in how many ways it is deceived.
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