What good would one compare to
the good will of a brother as a pledge of security? What better disposed sharer
of common goods could one find than a good brother? Whose presence in
misfortune would one desire more than such a brother's?
For my part I consider the man
most enviable who lives amid a number of like-minded brothers, and I consider
most beloved of the gods the man who has these blessings at home. Therefore, I
believe that each one of us ought to try to leave brothers rather than money to
our children so as to leave greater assurances of blessings.
Let me
certainly seek what is profitable, but let me be very careful in understanding
what will bring me true gain. If I attend to the right order of human goods,
then I will consider the bond of friendship to be a far greater blessing than any
financial security.
As
always, though the noble sentiments can make for a good soundbite, this is not
the way most people in the world will think or act. As always, the task is more
demanding than the mere word. I should not let this discourage me. The profit
will be in the soul, regardless of whether I have wealth or popularity.
Should I
send my child to Harvard, or should I give him a brother or a sister? One will
greatly assist him in becoming prosperous in the world, while the other will
greatly assist him in becoming prosperous in love. Can I give him both? It’s
possible, but I wouldn’t hold my breath; a man cannot really serve two masters.
I never had
any siblings, by the forces of circumstance and not by my parent’s free choice,
and so I received all the attention, the travel, and the education that would
otherwise have been split among many. I always greatly appreciated those many gifts,
but as the years have passed, I suspect I would have traded all of them for just
one companion in blood.
Discerning
that absence within myself, I was always rather shocked to see those who
treated their brothers and sisters like inconveniences or annoyances. Did they
not see the opportunities they were wasting by being selfish and petty? There
is no price too high to pay for the benefit of such companionship.
Will
there be fussing and fighting, disputes and disagreements? Of course there
will, just as it is unavoidable in all human relations. Yet the strength comes
from the chance to make such things right, and thereby to increase the
character of one and all. A large family won’t automatically make anyone a good
man, though it will offer far greater means to choose to become a better man.
To love
my parents is to show reverence, and to love my own children is to give
guidance, but to love a brother or a sister is a love between equals, on the
horizontal and not just the vertical scale, and that can become a perfect model
of fellowship, of the solidarity I am called to share with all the world.
Well, I
can’t afford to have children! There’s no way I could give them a good life!”
Is it
possible you wouldn’t need to buy anything at all?
Written in 2/2000
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