“As a result he will willingly
give up all pleasures for his father's sake, and for him he will accept all
manner of hardships willingly. To have such a son who would not offer prayers
to the gods? Who, having one, would not love him because of whom he had become
an envied and most blessed father in the eyes of all men of sound judgment?
“If, then, my young friend, with
a view to becoming such a man, as you surely will if you truly master the
lessons of philosophy, you should not be able to induce your father to permit
you to do as you wish, nor succeed in persuading him, reason thus: your father
forbids you to study philosophy, but the common father of all men and gods,
Zeus, bids you and exhorts you to do so.
“His command and law is that man
be just and honest, beneficent, temperate, high-minded, superior to pain, superior
to pleasure, free of all envy and all malice; to put it briefly, the law of
Zeus bids man be good. But being good is the same as being a philosopher.
“If you obey your father, you
will follow the will of a man; if you choose the philosopher's life, the will
of God. It is plain, therefore, that your duty lies in the pursuit of
philosophy rather than not.”
If the son is committed to philosophy, and not just
to some form of academic posturing, he will already have a sense that what is
right does not merely proceed from the exercise of force. The son will surely
hold his father in esteem, appreciating their natural bond, even if he will not
necessarily conform to his commands without careful and humble consideration.
If the son does truly love wisdom, this will be
evident in his own words and deeds, and his inner character will shine forth. Wouldn’t
a decent and loving father be proud of such an achievement? I would like to
think that nothing gives a parent greater satisfaction than a child forming a
conscience, though I have seen such noble standards ignored far too often.
There will be times when parents give their
children all the worst guidance, encouraging them to acquire wealth by stepping
on others, or increase their influence at any cost. This does not have to mean that
the parents don’t love their children, or don’t have their best interests at
heart, but it does sadly mean that they are confused about the priorities of
life.
Yet even if the father tells the son to cast aside
other people, the son will not do that, and he will start close to home, by not
casting aside his own father. The respect remains, as the son still looks to a
greater authority that joins them both together.
When anyone at all tells me that being a good man
is subservient to some other goals, I can accept that he means well, though he
does not understand well. My own human nature already defines me as a creature
made for virtue, and in this I am also in service to the whole of Nature. It is
ultimately Providence, the source of all purpose and order in things, that is
the greatest master.
I was raised to call this God, and Musonius here calls
it Zeus, and you may name it in some other way, but the root principle always
remains one and the same. It gives us a shared meaning, such that any apparent conflict,
between fathers and sons, or between any people at all, arises only from the
fog of ignorance and the narrowness of pride.
Young people can, of course, be terribly stubborn. There
were many times I did not prefer what my own parents asked me to do, and yet I
can honestly say that I don’t think they once, even once, asked me to do
something wrong. This was a distinction I had to learn, and it was only
experience and reflection that made me aware of that blessing.
In a moment of adolescent rebellion, I once begged
a kindly old priest to tell me how to get my nagging father off of my back.
“Well, there’s your father, and
then there’s your Father. You
never have to pick and choose when it comes to loving one within the other.”
Written in 3/2000
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