You can remove out of the way many useless things among
those that disturb you, for they lie entirely in your opinion; and you will
then gain for yourself ample space by comprehending the whole Universe in your
mind, and by contemplating the eternity of time, and observing the rapid change
of every several thing, how short is the time from birth to dissolution, and
the illimitable time before birth as well as the equally boundless time after
dissolution!
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 9.32 (tr
Long)
I have often
been falsely convinced that a burden is too much to bear, or that a certain
suffering is irredeemable, or that a particular situation has simply become
hopeless. Yet I then try to remember that the burden is only as heavy as I
allow it to be, that suffering has as much or as little power over me as I
choose, and that the situation was never really the problem to begin with. My
thinking about the situation was the problem.
Of course it
will all seem impossible if I decide that it is impossible; a sense of doom
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. To be liberated from being disturbed only
becomes possible when I recognize where to place the most perfect human good.
Yes, there may
be forces acting upon me. Yes, it may hurt mightily. Yes, I may not be able to
change my conditions. But, as a creature of reason and choice, my own judgments
and actions are what define me. As long as I retain that power, I may consider
the very core of my humanity to be invincible. It is only when I transfer
authority to the things outside of me that I surrender my own happiness.
People will
often have very different perspectives on a philosophy, and Stoicism will be no
different. For myself, however, I have never been able to bring myself to
cherry-pick my Stoicism. I don’t find it possible to fully embrace Stoic ethics
without the context of Stoic physics, to understand my own role as a part
without the purpose of the whole.
I see something
similar here, when Marcus Aurelius explains that learning to overcome being
disturbed and frustrated proceeds together with a sense of oneself within the
grand scale of things.
As is so often
the case, circumstances will become far more manageable in my judgment when I
put everything in its rightful place.
My mind can
order things by the measure of scale, and thereby discern that what may appear
so big and powerful is actually rather small and weak. What will all of our petty
squabbles and winnings be in the face of the Infinite?
My mind can
also grasp that however little time I may have, and however limited the scope
of my influence, I can, if I only so decide, retain complete and absolute over
my own character. What will all the actions of others be if I do not permit
them to do me any harm?
If I know where
I stand, and if I know who and what I am, I do not need to fear, I do not need
to be angry, and I do not need to let myself be distressed. I am still the
captain of my own ship, and I am familiar with the map of the seas on which I
am sailing.
Written in 12/2008
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