Epictetus, The Handbook 60: Quick to Judge

If a man washes quickly, do not say that he washes badly, but that he washes quickly.

 If a man drinks much wine, do not say that he drinks badly, but that he drinks much.

For until you have decided what judgment prompts him, how do you know that he acts badly?

If you do as I say, you will assent to your apprehensive impressions and to none other.

—Epictetus, The Handbook, Chapter 45 (tr Matheson)

Being quick to judge is never the same as making sound judgments. It is about making those sloppy judgments we have absolutely no right to make.

An old college professor I loved dearly had a habit that would now be considered completely unacceptable. While in his office, he always had a small tumbler of whiskey and ice near at hand, and he would sip at it regularly during the day. Those who disliked him, whether it was because they received less of a grade than they thought they deserved, or because they disagreed with his values, were very quick to label him a drunk.

I knew him very well, and he was never a drunk. He liked his whiskey, and he surely must have drunk quite a bit of it, but his mind was always as sharp as a blade. It was entirely right to say that he drank, but it was a leap to say that he drank too much. I’m told Winston Churchill was much the same.

Let us describe things as they are, and not how we would wish them to be for our own satisfaction.

I briefly worked with a wonderful young lady, as kind and as decent a one as you could find, but she would sometimes have a noticeable body odor. Her enemies immediately made this a matter of her character, and would regularly mention it, behind her back, of course, as a way to put her down. What they did not know was that this was a side effect of a medication she had to take for a chronic illness.

I once sadly lost my temper at one of these people, and pointed out that very reason.

“Well how could I possibly have known?”

“You never needed to know, because it isn’t any of your darn business. So you don’t like how she smells sometimes, but whatever you add to that is just on you. Which one is worse, the way she smells or the way you are thinking?”

People who don’t smile aren’t always grumpy, people who dress extravagantly aren’t always rich, and people who don’t look you in the eye aren’t always shifty. They just don’t smile, they dress in a fancy manner, or they look the other way. Let us never assume the cause from the effect without good reason, as we do not always understand all the thinking, motive, and circumstance that goes behind what we do see. 

Written in 8/2010