As in walking you take care not to
tread on a nail or to twist your foot, so take care that you do not harm your
Governing Principle.
And if we guard this in everything we
do, we shall set to work more securely.
—Epictetus,
The Handbook, Chapter 38 (tr
Matheson)
I have
always been advised to care for my health, to make certain that I eat right,
exercise regularly, and make those regular visits to the doctor, even when
nothing seems wrong, just in case.
This is
indeed a proper concern, but it is all about my conditions, and not about my
happiness.
I have
always been advised to care for my career, to make certain that I do my job to
everyone’s satisfaction, pay right respects to my superiors, and forever be on
the lookout for those opportunities for advancement.
This is
indeed a proper concern, but it is all about my conditions, and not about my
happiness.
I have
always been advised to care for my finances, to spend and to save wisely, and
to find clever investments that will offer my family opportunity and security
in the future.
This is
indeed a proper concern, but it is all about my conditions, and not about my
happiness.
I have
always been advised to care for my social connections, to nurture mutual bonds,
to give favors whenever convenient, and to call in favors whenever necessary.
This is
indeed a proper concern, but it is all about my conditions, and not about my
happiness.
You get
the picture. And if that were all that I had to live for, I’d rather just pull
the plug right now. As unpopular as it may be to say so, I have never seen the
value in running a race, however expertly, and then departing this world after
I have won the most trophies and toys.
I should
indeed take care of myself, because I am the only thing in this whole wide
world that I can control.
Now for
some people, taking care of themselves mean getting what they want from others.
That is inherently selfish. For other people, taking care of themselves means
giving whatever they can to others. That is inherently selfless. These are two
very different models of “taking care”. One is passive, the other active.
My life
is about what I do, and never about what is done to me. What I choose to do,
and however much effort I put into it, will be pointless if it’s all about
finding ways for the world to glorify my own vanity.
There is
really only one thing I must take care of, and that is what Epictetus calls my
Governing Principle, my judgment and choice, my ability to know true from
false, and my ability to choose right from wrong.
All of
those other things, my health, my career, my finances, or my social status,
will come and go. The only thing I can choose to follow in constancy is my own
moral character.
My
happiness will inevitably be all about how well I live, regardless of my circumstances,
and it will have nothing to do with gimmicks and appearances. I can paint all
the pretty pictures about how I appear to others. I can lie, cheat, or manipulate
all I want, but who I am, in my own mind and in own my heart, is what will
truly matter for my fulfillment. That is the real security that can come from
life.
Written in 9/1992
Image: Sergey Postnkinov, Farewell of Hector and Andromache (1863)
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