Those persons indeed put last first and confound their duties, who, violating the rules of Theophrastus, judge a man after they have made him their friend, instead of making him their friend after they have judged him.
Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul.
Cultured people don’t always appreciate my bluntness in expressing it, but I often notice that I won’t just make a slight miscalculation here or there, as if I had muddled an addition of sums, and instead I get the entire process ass-backward. I’m not just off by a bit, I’m headed in the completely opposite direction.
I concern myself with building up all the things on the outside of me, while I pay no attention to the things on the inside of me.
I expect to receive everything, and I am willing to give nothing.
And when it comes to friendship, I latch onto people because I am impressed by the appeal of what gratifies me, not by the presence of their virtue.
What have I missed when I fall for that lure of false friendship? I am completely turned around, longing for all the worst things, as a result of my fundamental confusion about right and wrong.
I will manage to make the best of myself when I become close to those who are also working to make the best of themselves. There are all sorts of qualities that can be good in people, such as charm, intelligence, hard work, a sense of humor, or a spirit of fun. Such attributes are worthwhile only when guided by character, just as any human action can only become noble if informed by a conscience.
When Socrates insisted that wisdom was the highest human good, since all lower benefits derived from it, the Stoics took notice, and they ran with that profound yet simple insight.
I must know who the man is before I join my life to his; I must understand what is in her soul before I bend down on one knee. Only my power of reason is able to do that, and all the mightiest desires in the world are pointless when separated from sound judgment.
Every person, even every creature of any sort, in this world deserves my respect, according to the order of Nature. When I add something even more to that, the further commitment of a personal love, minds must be united as much as hearts, principles as much as preferences.
Perfect friendships don’t require perfect people, only people helping one another to become more perfect together. Once the sacred promise is made, after the deepest deliberation, absolutely everything else becomes insignificant. This is why true love, rightly understood, conquers all.
Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul.
Cultured people don’t always appreciate my bluntness in expressing it, but I often notice that I won’t just make a slight miscalculation here or there, as if I had muddled an addition of sums, and instead I get the entire process ass-backward. I’m not just off by a bit, I’m headed in the completely opposite direction.
I concern myself with building up all the things on the outside of me, while I pay no attention to the things on the inside of me.
I expect to receive everything, and I am willing to give nothing.
And when it comes to friendship, I latch onto people because I am impressed by the appeal of what gratifies me, not by the presence of their virtue.
What have I missed when I fall for that lure of false friendship? I am completely turned around, longing for all the worst things, as a result of my fundamental confusion about right and wrong.
I will manage to make the best of myself when I become close to those who are also working to make the best of themselves. There are all sorts of qualities that can be good in people, such as charm, intelligence, hard work, a sense of humor, or a spirit of fun. Such attributes are worthwhile only when guided by character, just as any human action can only become noble if informed by a conscience.
When Socrates insisted that wisdom was the highest human good, since all lower benefits derived from it, the Stoics took notice, and they ran with that profound yet simple insight.
I must know who the man is before I join my life to his; I must understand what is in her soul before I bend down on one knee. Only my power of reason is able to do that, and all the mightiest desires in the world are pointless when separated from sound judgment.
Every person, even every creature of any sort, in this world deserves my respect, according to the order of Nature. When I add something even more to that, the further commitment of a personal love, minds must be united as much as hearts, principles as much as preferences.
Perfect friendships don’t require perfect people, only people helping one another to become more perfect together. Once the sacred promise is made, after the deepest deliberation, absolutely everything else becomes insignificant. This is why true love, rightly understood, conquers all.
Written in 2/2012
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