How shameful it is to behave toward food in this way we may learn from the fact that we liken them to unreasoning animals rather than to intelligent human beings. Now if this is shameful, the opposite must be altogether good; that is, exercising moderation and decorum in eating, demonstrating one's self-control there first of all, not an easy thing to do, but one which requires much attention and practice.
Why should this be? Because although there are many pleasures which lure man into wrong-doing and force him to yield to them contrary to what is good, pleasure in eating is probably the hardest of all to combat. For other pleasures we encounter less often, and we can refrain from some of them for months and whole years, but of necessity we are tempted by this one every day and usually twice a day, since it is not possible for man to live otherwise.
As a younger man, I often deeply resented it when my family told me to eat with civility, as I assumed that their claims were informed only by blind customs and an obsession with appearances. As I have grown older, I begin to see that they may have been on to something.
It somehow stuck in my head when my father, referencing Jewish law, told me it might be natural for a dog to eat, defecate, or copulate in public, but for a man it was quite unnatural. Though shame can all to easily be abused as a means to diminish others, I should not forget that shame can also be a truly healthy means to get myself back in touch with an informed conscience. I am a creature of deliberate choice, not just of brute instinct.
We are still quick to condemn people when they use tobacco, or become addicted to alcohol and drugs, or sometimes even if they are sexually promiscuous, and yet we are far less likely to condemn them when they are intemperate with food. Why are we more forgiving when it comes to eating and drinking, given the prevalence of gluttony, wastefulness, and obesity? Perhaps we look the other way precisely because they are so prevalent?
It may be easier to avoid a vice when it is easier to avoid the occasions of sin, on the premise of “out of sight, out of mind”. I can alter my circle of friends, or I can even change my name and move to another town, but I can’t really stop eating. The whiskey can get poured down the sink, or her picture can get tossed in the trash, but I can’t run away from food.
With food being a lure that always surrounds me, especially in an instant world where the whole day can become one continuous meal, it is no wonder that I turn to it as a diversion from facing myself. Food is necessary to nourish a person, but hence it is also an immediate opportunity to merely tame or numb my passions whenever I feel distressed or disturbed.
I would rummage through the kitchen looking for something tasty to consume, and I seethed with rage when my mother called down to me, “You’re just eating because you’re bored!” How dare she have turned out to be right after all those years.
Written in 5/2000
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