It
is marvelous how that man spoke and acted, and how peaceful he was. He was playing
at draughts when the centurion in charge of a number of those who were going to
be executed bade him to join them.
On
the summons he counted his men and said to his companion, "Mind you do not
tell a lie after my death, and say that you won."
Then,
turning to the centurion, he said "You will bear me witness that I am one
man ahead of him."
The first
thing I notice is how Canius is playing checkers, what my old Irish family used
to call draughts, as he knows that his execution is approaching.
Is he in
denial? Is he just being facetious? Is this some form of clever and angry protest?
I may think such things whenever I no longer have faith in the goodness of a
human soul. Many people I know are dark and cynical about life, always seeing
the worst, and always using this as a means to complain about how unfairly they
are being treated.
Maybe,
just maybe, a good game of checkers is all I need? There I can have a laugh,
and quicken my mind, and enjoy the fellowship of a friend.
I have a
sneaking suspicion that the man actually meant it, that he spent some of the
last bit of time he had left to enjoy a humble amusement.
I am not the
sharpest tool in the shed, and it took me a few readings of this simple text to
appreciate another aspect of its meaning.
Taken
away from his game, he asks his opponent to be honest.
Then,
facing the guard whose job it is to push him this way and that, he asks the
bully to be honest as well.
Death is
near, and he is encouraging others to practice virtue, however firmly his tongue
is planted in his cheek.
In so many
ways, sincerity is at the core of virtue. Know yourself, and be honest with
yourself. Know right from wrong, and make no excuses. Know that others deserve
to be given that truth, instead of any lies that might be more convenient.
How much
does it really matter if I win this game of checkers, or if I get that
promotion at work, or if I acquire more fame than my neighbor? All of that
might be nice and well, but it will be of no use to me if I am not honest and
caring from the get-go.
How many
years have I now wasted in being bigger, while others become smaller? How much
effort have I now expended in being a fraud?
Integrity
may not win me any games, but it will allow me to die with a sense of genuine
worth.
Written in 12/2011
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