All
life is slavery: let each man therefore reconcile himself to his lot, complain
of it as little as possible, and lay hold of whatever good lies within his
reach.
No
condition can be so wretched that an impartial mind can find no compensations
in it. Small sites, if ingeniously divided, may be made use of for many
different purposes, and arrangement will render ever so narrow a room
habitable.
Call
good sense to your aid against difficulties: it is possible to soften what is
harsh, to widen what is too narrow, and to make heavy burdens press less
severely upon one who bears them skillfully.
I did not
realize how intensely I complained about things until I started taking a
regular Stoic inventory of my thoughts and actions. When I made broad and sweeping
generalizations about my state of mind, I could tell myself that all was well,
but once I paid more conscious attention to the little words and deeds during
my day, it became quite apparent that so much of my time and effort was spent
on grumbling and protesting.
My
intentions were not usually malicious, though it did sometimes come to that,
but I can only describe my attitude as one thoroughly permeated with an extreme
dissatisfaction. Instead of doing something with myself, the only option I was
willing to entertain involved finding fault with my circumstances. A certain
dry, cynical dismissiveness crept it, and it didn’t help that I felt drawn to other
people of a similar disposition.
I will
become no better by constantly being insulted by the world, and I won’t even
feel any better by listing my grievances. Picking sides, following this tribe
or that, or stewing in resentment works from a place of restlessness and conflict,
so no peace can be found there.
By all
means, I can observe how others choose to live, understand what moves them, discern
what is good and bad in their thoughts and actions, and be willing to learn
from it. But I should certainly not define myself in opposition to them. It isn’t
judgment that’s the problem, but how I go about making the judgement.
If it is, there is something good within it, and it remains
my responsibility to find this for myself. I regularly remind myself that nothing
is useless, or offensive, or boring, unless I have decided to make it so. The
problem is in here, not out there.
If it is
necessary, and if only I so choose, the most meager resources can be made abundantly
fruitful, much like a tiny room can be made livable and comfortable with a bit
of care and ingenuity. How foolish of me to expect that things should be made bearable
for me, when all I have to do is make them bearable for myself.
I
complain that there’s nothing on television, and I forget that I have myself,
and I live in a whole wide world.
Written in 10/2011
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