Not in passivity but in activity lie the evil and the good
of the rational social animal, just as his virtue and his vice lie not in
passivity but in activity.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 9.16 (tr
Long)
I am a creature
made not only to act, but also to act from my own awareness and choice. I am
given not only life, but also a life of reason and will. How strange that I
still so often choose to define myself by the things that happen to me, not by
the things that I do.
I am too accustomed
to thinking that a good life is measured by the environment I live in, whether
it be how much money I might have, or the home I live in, or those who treat me
as a friend.
As a result, I
will sit back comfortably when I gain such things, but I will become anxious
and despondent when I lose them. So instead of leading myself, I am letting
myself be led, dependent upon what is quite often beyond my ability to control.
There is no
shame at all in wanting such things and in enjoying their presence. The danger,
however, lies in confusing a preference with a necessity, and in mistaking my
circumstances for my character. There are many things that will passively come
and go in this life, within my choice to like or dislike, though they should
always be quite subservient to the virtue I practice actively.
I may still be
convinced, however, that the conveniences and luxuries I have, or that I think
I should have, are things that I have earned, or things that I deserve; after
all, they seem to be the consequence of my own work and effort, the fruits of my
labors. Notice how often people are so proud of their honors and
possessions, assuming that these prizes on the outside reflect an excellence on
the inside.
Yet this isn’t
nearly so much the case as I would like to think. Whatever I may have done, for
better or for worse, follows from my own actions, while whatever others may
choose to give to me, for better or for worse, follows from their actions. The
prestige of the degree from a fancy school? The bountiful earnings from a
lucrative career? The pleasures of being honored and respected by all the right
people? Some of it is just the result of good fortune, and most of the rest is
just the result of someone else’s judgment.
If I am still
in doubt that these benefits are not completely my own, let me only recognize
how easily they can be taken away. What seems so securely within my power is
hardly mine at all.
What is still
completely mine, whatever the world offers me, is the dignity of my own
thoughts and deeds. I need only master myself, and let the rest be what it may,
focusing sharply on the merit of how I act, regardless of how I am acted upon.
The measure of
a man is what he gives, not what he receives. It is a genuine responsibility for himself.
Written in 10/2008
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