On
the occasion of every act ask yourself, how is this with respect to me? Shall I
repent of it? A little time and I am dead, and all is gone.
What
more do I seek, if what I am now doing is the work of an intelligent living
being, and a social being, and one who is under the same law with God?
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 8 (tr
Long)
Looking at the winding narrative
depicted on the Column of Marcus Aurelius, telling of the wars he led against
Germanic tribes from 166 up until his death in 180, one sees the clashes of
great armies deciding the fate of nations. Everything is in sweeping motion,
grand in scale, and glorious to behold. The column itself was erected to honor
an emperor’s great achievement, and it stands to this day in Rome. Those Romans
certainly knew how to think big, to make a powerful impression, and to leave
their mark on the world.
How odd and wonderful then that the same
man who was so honored wrote the words in the passage above. He reflects upon who
he is within himself, contemplating his own end, considering the worth of his
own deeds. He doesn’t look to his political power, his economic achievements,
or his military victories, but reviews only the content of his character. Has
he let reason be his guide, shown his concern for others, and acted in harmony
with Providence? What else could truly matter?
I would like to think that Marcus
Aurelius had a very different sense of what constituted greatness than most
other people of influence and power. The memoirs and diaries of politicians and
generals will usually discuss their crucial place in important events, and we might
find ourselves disappointed if we read only the humble thoughts of a man just
trying to be a good man.
I am still amazed that if we
overlook the first book of dedications, almost all the passages in the Meditations give no indication of the
status of the author. He could be every man, most any person, and this is
because he cuts to the heart of what it means to be human, at the most basic
and immediate level.
So I may ask myself, just as he did,
whether I have been understanding, loving, and reverent, firm in the knowledge
that I don’t really need to ask myself any further questions.
I take it seriously that these are not
questions I should only need to ask from time to time, in between all the
hustle and bustle of everyday life, but rather questions I must constantly keep
in mind, for each and every decision and action. They are a way of asking about
the very be-all and end-all of my life. I am hardly facing my humanity if I
neglect to do this.
I don’t need a glorious column to
mark my achievements. I only need a decent soul within.
Written in 1/2008
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