This
thing, what is it in itself, in its own constitution?
What
is its substance and material?
And what its causal nature or form?
And
what is it doing in the world?
And
how long does it subsist?
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 8 (tr
Long)
Consider how often our own
estimation adds qualities to things that are not actually present within them. That
an image is attractive, or a sound is frightening, or a taste is unpleasant
says something about our judgments, but not immediately about the thing that is
perceived. I have already added my own interpretation to an experience, and so
I have already intermixed what something is with how it seems to me.
Contrary to what the hopeless
skeptic might say, however, what the mind has added in its judgments, the mind
can also take away. Let me consciously peel away what I can recognize as being
my own imposition, and let me consider what remains only within a thing itself.
Suddenly it will not appear so
enticing, or terrifying, or painful.
What defines it for itself, and not
just for me? What is it made of? Where did it come from? What is its purpose,
as distinct from any purpose I may imagine for it?
Very often, it is only my ignorance
of what I see that causes me confusion or anxiety. Understood for its own sake,
I can gladly accept that it has its rightful place, just as I have mine, and
that I can be in control of what I make of it for myself.
Something is no longer a mystery if
I can take it apart, look at it from different angles, and observe how it
behaves. I do not need to be afraid of it, or angry at it, or overwhelmed by
it.
Last but not least, if I perceive
that it is hardly permanent, and that it too shall pass, as all things must
pass, I will never need to find it insurmountable.
When I say that something hurts, for
example, I can examine both the object and myself, and I can understand the
source of that feeling. Then I will decide what I will make of it, knowing full
well that both the object and myself are here as they are for a reason, and
that they are here for only a time.
This is not a pipe. It is an image
that represents a pipe. This is neither a duck, nor a rabbit, but a series of
lines that can be seen from different perspectives. This is not a beautiful young
woman, or a hideous old lady. So too, this event or that experience is not the
best thing that has happened to me, or the worst thing that has happened to me,
but will only be as important to me as I judge it to be. This way I can always
make everything good for myself by how I employ it, and bad for myself only if
I abuse it.
You didn’t break my heart; I chose
to consider myself injured. It didn’t make me lose faith; I chose to no longer
believe. Death is not an evil; I chose to be afraid.
Written in 2/2008
Written in 2/2008
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