Do
wrong to yourself, do wrong to yourself, my soul; but you will no
longer have the opportunity of honoring yourself.
But
yours is nearly finished, though your soul reverences not itself
but places your felicity in the souls of others.
—Marcus
Aurelius, Meditations, Book 2 (tr
Long)
Freedom
is both liberating and frightening. Stoic self-reliance builds upon the reality
that we are not defined by the events that occur around us, and that our own actions
are not merely driven by passion and instinct. We are creatures that can think
for ourselves, and it is through the power of reason that we can come to
understand, and therefore to decide, about what is good. We are not limited to impulsive
reaction, but are opened up to choice.
I think
about how the same phrase, “I am responsible for myself”, is such a gift when I
choose wisely, and such a burden when I choose foolishly. Yet the beauty of
choice is such that it remains within my power, for as long as I am living and
aware, to decide in a new way, to make right what I have done wrong, to change
the quality of my thinking and therefore the quality of my living.
It
matters very little what field of circumstances is spread before me, whether
Fortune has blessed me with bounty or bound me in need. Each and every choice,
under whatever situation I find myself in, gives me the very same opportunity
to act with virtue.
Show me
hate, and I can choose to love, do me violence and I can choose to offer peace,
surround me with lies and I can choose to speak the truth. It is this one thing
that always remains completely my own as long as I do not surrender it. I often
think of the words of Viktor Frankl:
Everything can be taken from a man
but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any
given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
I am
aware, however, not only how many times I have abused my freedom by choosing
vice, but also how many times I have avoided my commitment to freedom entirely.
It seems odd to say that I have chosen not to decide, but I do just that when I know
precisely what I must do to live well, but I continue to allow myself to be
swept along by what others may do to me. Perhaps it seems easier to do nothing
at all, or perhaps I assume that I can defer my decision for a later time. I
deceive myself into believing I can make a mess of it right now, and clean it
all up down the line.
Yet
there will come a time when it is to late to choose what is right, and there
will be no more chances to begin living well. I do not have all the time in the
world, but I am only assured of this very moment right here and now. It is
never too early to choose well, because I already have everything I need within
me to do so.
Written in 7/2004
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