"Where then is progress?"

"Where then is progress? If any of you, withdrawing himself from externals, turns to his own will to exercise it and to improve it by labor, so as to make it conformable to nature, elevated, free, unrestrained, unimpeded, faithful, modest; and if he has learned that he who desires or avoids the things which are not in his power can neither be faithful nor free, but of necessity he must change with them and be tossed about with them as in a tempest, and of necessity must subject himself to others who have the power to procure or prevent what he desires or would avoid; finally, when he rises in the morning, if he observes and keeps these rules, bathes as a man of fidelity, eats as a modest man; in like manner, if in every matter that occurs he works out his chief principles as the runner does with reference to running, and the trainer of the voice with reference to the voice — this is the man who truly makes progress, and this is the man who has not traveled in vain."

--Epictetus, Enchiridion 4 (tr Matheson)

Stoicism is not a magic wand. I will not suddenly and majestically be transformed into a magnificent creature without doubts or flaws as soon as I begin to think of my own wisdom and virtue as the greatest currency. I will struggle, I will question myself, I will despair, I will trip and fall. But if I only so choose, I will stand up again, shake off the dust with calm and patience, and I will joyfully continue toward my chosen destination.

My own experiences are mine alone, and as I like to say, your mileage may vary, but I have found that it is the conviction, and the action itself that proceeds from those values, that are themselves the progress. There is no other prize, because it is only my own character that defines me. All the hallmarks and achievements of the world need not be my concern.

And if I fail, or struggle through hardship, or begin to feel the pain of doubt, I must approach that, too, as I think a Stoic should. I will look at the misfortune as an opportunity to become better. And that is itself the progress. The fall can be an encouragement, not a discouragement, because it isn't about what happens to me, it's about what I do with what happens to me.

At one of those professional meetings where we are all supposed to become more motivated and efficient, the group leader asked that well-known question: where do you all see yourself in five years? The responses were confident and creative. Eyes rolled and sighs hissed through the room when it came around to me. "I have no idea where I'll be in five years, but I hope I'll be a better man."  I imagine most people thought I was being difficult and stubborn, which is sadly how I am often perceived. But that was certainly not my attitude or intent. I actually meant every word of it. That is how I truly choose to define my progress.

Written on 10/30/2013

Image: The Temptations of Christ, St. Mark's Basilica, Venice (12th century). The theme is, of course, Christian, but the principle holds just as fully from a Stoic perspective. Christ rejects the external temptations of gluttony, power, and wealth.