"Of course I prefer that war should not occur; but if war does occur, I shall desire that I may nobly endure the wounds, the starvation, and all that the exigency of war brings.
"Nor am I so mad as to crave illness; but if I must suffer illness, I shall desire that I may do nothing which shows lack of restraint, and nothing that is unmanly.
"The conclusion is, not that hardships are desirable, but that virtue is desirable, which enables us patiently to endure hardships."
--Seneca the Younger, Moral Letters to Lucilius, 67 (tr Gummere)
Only a few lines before the passage quoted above, Seneca describes how, at his age and with the poor conditions of his health, he feels cold even in the summer. He finds himself bound to his bed and finding joy only in books.
I will sometimes feel guilty, because I don't seem to have the perseverance and good spirits of a Seneca. Over the last few years, my health, both mental and physical, will often knock me down. It leaves me in pain, in bed, alone, and with no outside solace. These bouts have a special way of arriving during the Holidays, when I am expected by the world to be cheerful and sociable. That I can do neither seems a burden, and it begins to seem increasingly unfair as the day progresses.
It's only the error of my thinking that does this to me, and in my case, at least, I will still permit my judgment to be pushed around by the force of too many bad habits from my past. Instead of recognizing that the value of my life is in how well I live, regardless of my circumstances, I allow my merit to be measured by my conditions. I haven't fully made the Stoic Turn yet if I'm still struggling with that problem.
To think like a Stoic is not to deny or ignore the force our emotions, but rather to understand that this force can be directed and harnessed. I may not want to be tortured, to go to war, to be laid down by illness. But if I am, and whether I am or not likely had little to do with me. then I can take such seeming misfortune to my advantage. There is nothing great for me about the pain itself, but there is something truly great for me about the endurance, to continue to love and to do good in the face of misfortune. The excellence and the joy are in the action of achievement itself.
Yes, it may hurt, and yes, I may be alone, and yes, I may feel weak and cold, and yes, it may even now, and ultimately will, kill me, but none of that is what I am here for. I may now choose to take any and every circumstance, and to be happy simply by living well with it while I am here.
Happiness can always win, if only we wish it to, because virtue always transforms hardship.
Written on Easter, 2016.
Image: Cristobal Rojas, La Miseria, 1886.
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