Do you remember how, when you declared that a certain person was under your influence, I pronounced him fickle and a bird of passage, and said that you held him not by the foot but merely by a wing? Was I mistaken?
You grasped him only by a feather; he left it in your hands and escaped. You know what an exhibition he afterwards made of himself before you, how many of the things he attempted were to recoil upon his own head.
He did not see that in endangering others he was tottering to his own downfall. He did not reflect how burdensome were the objects which he was bent upon attaining, even if they were not superfluous.
You grasped him only by a feather; he left it in your hands and escaped. You know what an exhibition he afterwards made of himself before you, how many of the things he attempted were to recoil upon his own head.
He did not see that in endangering others he was tottering to his own downfall. He did not reflect how burdensome were the objects which he was bent upon attaining, even if they were not superfluous.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 42
Ah yes, that frustrating moment of “I told you so!” When someone older and wiser is giving sound advice, we call it nagging, and so we are inclined to be stubborn. Once it is too late to listen, we feel ashamed of our foolishness, and so we lash out in resentment.
Yet youth is hardly being wasted on the young, for a certain vitality is necessary to go through so much trial and error. And as much as I wish I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t actually know anything right now if I hadn’t had to learn it the hard way back then.
If I’m still a bit wet behind the years, how can I tell if the advice is actually worth following? Before I even begin to assess the content of what has been said, let me at least pause long enough to listen patiently until the end, to let it fully sink in. This has the remarkable effect, however inadvertently, of delaying any rash decisions, and thereby allowing for the inflamed passions to cool down.
It has to start with the listening. Almost all of my worst decisions come from failing to take some time for thinking in peace and quiet. My impatience to act immediately betrays my lack of self-control.
It won’t go well for anyone when the object of my desire is not thoroughly measured by judgment, and as much as I might bring pain and suffering to the circumstances of others, I do the greatest damage to myself, by crippling my own soul. The clever plots and the grand designs inevitably come back to bite me in the rear.
All the willpower in the world is useless without an awareness of purpose, for only an informed conscience can properly define the goal. The object may well have some value to it, though I must carefully count the cost in relation to the ultimate end.
For example, is the pursuit of a career worth abandoning my friends? Is my longing for worldly power going to diminish my moral power?
A skill in finance can certainly bring in a cash profit, but it takes a focus on philosophy, as a daily practice, to do anything with understanding and love.
Ah yes, that frustrating moment of “I told you so!” When someone older and wiser is giving sound advice, we call it nagging, and so we are inclined to be stubborn. Once it is too late to listen, we feel ashamed of our foolishness, and so we lash out in resentment.
Yet youth is hardly being wasted on the young, for a certain vitality is necessary to go through so much trial and error. And as much as I wish I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t actually know anything right now if I hadn’t had to learn it the hard way back then.
If I’m still a bit wet behind the years, how can I tell if the advice is actually worth following? Before I even begin to assess the content of what has been said, let me at least pause long enough to listen patiently until the end, to let it fully sink in. This has the remarkable effect, however inadvertently, of delaying any rash decisions, and thereby allowing for the inflamed passions to cool down.
It has to start with the listening. Almost all of my worst decisions come from failing to take some time for thinking in peace and quiet. My impatience to act immediately betrays my lack of self-control.
It won’t go well for anyone when the object of my desire is not thoroughly measured by judgment, and as much as I might bring pain and suffering to the circumstances of others, I do the greatest damage to myself, by crippling my own soul. The clever plots and the grand designs inevitably come back to bite me in the rear.
All the willpower in the world is useless without an awareness of purpose, for only an informed conscience can properly define the goal. The object may well have some value to it, though I must carefully count the cost in relation to the ultimate end.
For example, is the pursuit of a career worth abandoning my friends? Is my longing for worldly power going to diminish my moral power?
A skill in finance can certainly bring in a cash profit, but it takes a focus on philosophy, as a daily practice, to do anything with understanding and love.
—Reflection written in 1/2013
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